102 AKA the In-Christ Inheritance and Adoption

A reminder from last week's 101 entry that these mock interviews are conducted without external assistance and the simulation of the interviewer should not be interpreted as being conducted, assigned or supervised directly by Dr. Mutter or any other professional as they are simply meant to serve as exploratory and analytical interviews on myself IF I were an interviewer that could read my interviewees mind and knew exactly what questions I ought to ask myself. The format is mainly meant to increase clarify to the viewers using skills I picked up so far in my current educational lifestyle.

 

M: Just like the above picture you showed me of one of the publicly distributed devotional genre materials, I would like you to expand more on your identity in Christ you mentioned in the last session where your relationship with God at times often has brought your psychriatric health into question, I believe it is important for us to clarify and distinguish from this context as a foundation for everything that can follow as you continue to seek after following Christ's will. As outlined in 1 Thessalonians 5:16–22. So let's begin working with that perspective, can you agree? Also please give a brief elaboration as to why you think it may or may not be useful to continue with this focus today. 

K: I think it definitely can be a good starting point to pick up where the conversation left off. I recall during one of my earlier courses in Systematic theology I posed the question I had been asked in the past that directly addresses this subject. That is, how does one know whether we are listening to God's voice, the devil's voice or just our own voice? Since most people ascribed our instructor or professor as being very wise and experienced, I was hoping for a very definitive and analyzed response to as you put it, a very "foundational" subject to address for the Christian walk and faith.

M: Indeed, so do you recall your instructor's response? 

K: Yes, I was actually caught off guard momentarily on how unsystematic the answer seemed to be and perhaps that is what makes the answer so memorable to myself and the rest of the class as well as how upset he seemed on why I would be posing the question in the first place even though I had presented the context as it was coming from fellow congregants and not necessarily directly from myself as the primary source. The answer was: "That's NOT EVEN A QUESTION! You either know or you don't!!!"

M: Well, that certainly seems like your educational dollars didn't go to work at all in that scenario, was there any follow up or commentary? If not from the professor, please comment on how you, yourself proceeded after hearing such an answer.

K: Well actually there was a bit of follow up though I think that initial compound statement is in fact the only "definitive" that is true to the gospel's message. Throughout the gospel's message, up until Jesus volunteered to what appeared to a suicidal course of action for what appeared to be church against state to his crucifixion, even Jesus himself faced questions on whether everything he did was in alignment with God's planning or "voice". So now that I'm presenting that unspoken context I believe my professor was coming from, I think it brings extra clarity to his follow up statements like "for all a person knows you can just be a schizophrenic and the voice of God doesn't really exist."

M: I think schizophrenia in itself is it's own unique context. However it is something you had mentioned was presented to access your own situation in the past. Could you comment on how you personally am able to discern for yourself how much truth there is in the way you yourself follow God's voice versus the possibility that you may experience schizophrenia or have similar symptoms?

K: I think a lot of it has to do with the context I find myself in every time I am under suspicion that my mental state has more to do with clinical illnesses versus my inaptitude that I could be suffering genuinely for my lack of ability to downright listen and follow God's leading. As an example, when we look at the biblical account of Job, many times he cried out to God and lived in denial that God was giving him an answer. Job's personal assessment of the situation was that if God is loving, he shouldn't be experiencing as many trials as he did and thus when we follow through on his logic, the conclusion must be that God is silent in Job's eyes and ignoring him. At least one thing that Job hold's onto is that God is still in existence and he still holds fast to his belief and ignores the earlier suggestion from his wife to "curse God and die" as a possible evasion of his difficult situation. I think everyone faces tough scenarios at times. I personally don't clinically diagnose myself as not listening to God during my times of extreme difficulties and that this "voice" I hear answering is a result of some mental illness.

M: Why is that? To contextualize the scenario back to the opposite possibility as obviously some mental health professionals have deemed you as having mental illness outside of "merely listening to God's voice", what if we were to apply your prof's definitive context to that scenario and someone else has said something along the lines of "Kevin is following the voice of his mental illness and I just don't have a scientific or concrete medical evidence to prove it in the same way you can prove that a person is following the voice of God", how do you respond to such a possible assessment of the situation?

K: Good question and approach. I think one thing most biblical students can agree to is that "the voice of God" doesn't normally contradict the nature of God. To use another biblical example, when Peter himself protests a very distinctive voice from Jesus in person in terms of Christ's prediction that Peter will disown him in Mark 14 the fact that this is a prophetic word from Jesus is undeniable. However, I don't think Peter is necessarily "psychotic" in the way he doubts Jesus is pronouncing truth over him. Peter doesn't see his fervor for following Jesus being swayed so easy and furthermore for Jesus to tell Peter that he will disown Jesus three times seems very "uncharacteristic" in terms of Jesus' previous calling and belief in Peter as a disciple up until that point so I would say most Christians do not approach the question as to whether God is being followed completely without any foundation. 

M: Ok, that is a good theological standpoint and analysis. It does even offer more depth to the answer your prof provided in that systematic theology class. But how does it relate to your own dilemma with mental health personally? Can you give examples as to how this theology in Peter's denial of Jesus relates back to the fact that you believe you are genuinely listening to God's voice as opposed to the voice generated as a result of mental illness(es)? 

K: Well some of the key foundational questions that I often am asked as a hospital inpatient or even as an outpatient with a psychiatrist often don't align with the context in which I am listening to God's voice. Therefore I don't believe my hearing of God's voice would necessarily be concretely evidencing this is a side effect or symptom of my mental illness(es).

M: Again, can you give more specific examples for someone such as myself who hasn't lived a day in your context or even spent an hour with you previously in companionship with you during these times?

K: Well for one, as mentioned in the previous session, perhaps the only assessed primary delusion is that I believed the world was coming to an end and obviously in the weeks or months that follow the world is still around so it was clearly potentially all in my head that I ought to have any genuine anxiety over the possibility of termination of all live here on earth. Though COVID has been it's own unique context and also world changing, reality is I think that main "delusion" is what lends ears to professionals thinking it is a result of psychosis rather than perhaps genuine biblical theology and if framed properly, there ought to be a sense of our time on earth is indeed limited, Armageddon or otherwise. Other than that, I don't qualify under other conditions that normally confine a person to more intensive psychiatric evaluation such as a desire for self harm or harming others explicitly and directly. I would never act out physically in terms of harming others or myself. Though I have yet to be placed in a scenario where physical force may be the only alternative to prevent harm to others, hypothetically at this point I am not sure I even have a mental drive to be non-pacifistic in that scenario either.

M: I see, I see, very interesting. We may not have time to talk more about how you see your true family is sourced in Christ today, so as for the picture you have below... 

... I would say we don't have time to do the subject justice today. I will acknowledge and save the discussion as to how emotionally and spiritually your family has been far from being the best example of nurture for a future session [well in reality, a post], but I think you should elaborate a little more on "harm to others", just like with your previous post when you mentioned the narratives with other girls in the past. Do you think the subject of "harassment" may have to do with why people think your state of mental health could lend way to "harm of others"? And yes, I think it would be fair for you to integrate how a lack of boundaries you mentioned you had discussed with other counsellors in your own home can contribute to very poor "scaffolding" as you learned in Harris' course that can make you much more susceptible as well as ignorant to the proper definition and practices around prevention and avoidance of the possibility of harassment. This likely ties into a lot more to the questioning of your mental state and health a lot more than you realize and is worth visiting in some detail before we proceed. In interest of privacy and confidentiality, I will ask you not mention any strong evidence you have either for or against whether you have been harassing as this is not a court of law nor would I say your self testimony here ought to be used as legitimate evidence in that context, but seeing your last hospitalization got tied into a context of trespassing when you were catching your breath in someone's garage that he had left unlocked, it is worth considering how certain legal standards could mesh with your mental health being called into question because it seems as though you don't know how to behalf as a regular citizen in a law abiding fashion if you were instead given a completely mental illness free diagnoses.

K: OK, that sounds like a fair subject to address. I do also appreciate your sensitivity to allowing me to express how my nuturing and lack of any sort of regular boundaries at home even if "between family members" can lend to unhealthy human development in terms of not knowing how to properly express more adult situations that can potentially end up giving off the appearance of harassment rather than simply persistence and consistency. I think it all begins with the views I have about marriage that originated from my own family context. I would say growing up, I only hear one side of the narrative that my dad had given up on his family and his marriage "too easily" from mom. Now that I am older, I realize there is also an element that mom is under some deranged and undeveloped notions of what constitutes and falls into her definition of "love" at play. Even in the relationship with myself and my other siblings, I get a sense that mom holds onto what I learned in the past regarding "most adolescent (or highschool) relationships are about control". This may express itself in many forms. Some people feel they have a better sense or "control" over their lives when in a relationship as a teen versus not, i.e. they are able to find a channel or context for their sexual desires. I think with my own mother still living with a false sense that she needs control or be able to control her "kids" even though we are all very advanced biologically as adults now is both unhealthy as well as one of the main contributors to why people have perceived me as being disrespectful of their personal boundaries and "harassing" in the past. Mom doesn't offer anything in terms of what normally would be considered personal boundaries for one's children as they get older. She still holds to the notion that "my dwelling, my rule (yes singular)" so I can see how this often used to translate to that fact that since everyone else around me is God's children [John 3] that I didn't grew up learning how to respect boundaries from my parents. The only thing I did learn is maybe the reason why my father could not stay living with my mom is because he felt overburdened by both my mom's control-freakiness and her lack of grace in terms of how she would be a grudge bearing type personality as well....

M: Interesting, it seems we return back to what you had mentioned in your first session about how your own life context shapes your relationship with God. Which we often talk about as being foundational to your relations with others. We are almost out of time we're able to allocate to this today. Any closing remarks? Hopefully next time we can talk more about your views on "family, Christ and why you feel God has yet to bless you from becoming the head of a household..."

K: Indeed, stewardship is another concept I struggled with and I think there happens to be an interesting coinciding of events of when I was too preoccupied with school to do as frequent cleaning of my own personal bathroom as often that Covid progressively got worse and worse. Obviously there are other factors, but even when I was last hospitalized my mom invaded my room again and rearranged many of the items it has lost all previous locations of needed and out of sight items I wrote in a spreadsheet following in the example of my days at Home Depot. As a result recently I've also fallen behind at school having to start this process once again from scratch. But to quickly close off the previous topic with a weak sense of boundaries putting me at the brink of potential harassing scenarios at times, I believe I learned a sense of stewardship over those scenarios as well. In the same way my mother is under the illusion that she can control over what happens in the lives of others, I will expand on this in the next post of this nature on how in reality I believe even God doesn't have complete control of what happens in our lives. Yes, I may once again relate it back to Covid as I don't know for certain that Covid is FROM or OF God even if God can USE it for God's own good in various ways as that's part of God's nature but the whole point is I've learned to achieve a better sense of peace over situations that end with a lack of communication between parties, after all, even in all the various contexts that God speaks and whether a person is even under scrutiny of "it's mental illness not God" as I have experienced, the choice of whether or not to listen is still ultimately placed by God to the individual as is scripture itself, God now seems to apply a less direct, in your face and "hey, I'm here, whatcha going do" approach now in delivering his own messages. It may be just my opinion, but that's what I currently see... 

M: Makes sense, until next time [you post] we have a conversation of this nature then...  

_ _ _ _ _ 101...

Purpose, Summary and Abstract:  As I already released an entry earlier this week, I feel this full-blown disclosure of my blog and identity is out of place without a formal Pastoral-Care and professional entry interview. Following the styling of several contexts, I will attempt to do this all in one shot. The following three contexts are applied. Therefore I may not have time for a post next week to catch up on other things such as my video messages.

1. There was a J E S U S 101 class at one of the churches I had attended in my past. Other churches often call this the A L P H A course, so there's that too. Since it seems a bit out of context to just jump straight to J E S U S 101 perhaps without more of a "proper introduction" [RW] or personal testimonial of myself here, I decided we should go with this format to tell you more of 'the person behind the story' in this post.

2. Using the idea of the above context, we will overview myself (_ _ _ _ _) both before I became a Christian and then summarize my journey as a Christian so we can confront the differences. I will now transition the analysis into step 3 to show you the mindset I am using to formulate this post.

3. At this stage of my life, not only have I received many sessions of psychtriatic care (if you've seen my "Why were you in the hospital?" post, psychotherapy and Christian psychotherapy as well as employment interviews and employment counselling. Since Dr. Mutter shares the same first initial as me, I will denote the interviewer as M. Using the theory from his class, I will become my own hypothetical interviewer as well as the interviewed, so K is the interviewed and M is the interviewer. However, M will also incorporate hypothetical hiring managers and other professionals tasked with asking questions integrated with my own expertise. 

BEGIN:

M: Tell me a little about yourself. Can you summarize your experiences before you engaged in 'organized Christianity' in a few sentences?

K: I grew up in a small town about fifteen to twenty kilometers from my current location, we moved to uptown Toronto for a year to try to make it easier to commute to relatives but "EVER SINCE" [D-CW] high-school I have been living in my current location in supportive housing for the financially challenged because it has be challenging to seek an alternative within the confines of my current context.

M: Interesting, so where do you see God in this journey? Tell me a little bit about your initial experiences of encountering Christ.

K: Since I was a little child, perhaps given the context that I had an absentee father, I've also tried to hold conversations with God and although I never limited myself to any particular "religion" or "faith association at first, I always believed God was there and aside from faith in this one regard which I now frame into a 1 Samuel 3 type context, I never really been given any reasons from a personal perspective to doubt God's existence even when faced with the adversity of being given a psychtriatic diagnoses that include what professionals consider to be a deluded psychology of "hearing voices". 

M: I see. So it sounds like to me, that perhaps people think you may have 'created this notion' of God out of an unhealthy nurturing of the absence of healthy affection and scaffolding from your biological father, please share some more thoughts on this.

K: Well just like Eli in the 1 Samuel 3 passage, it is always natural to doubt a child can actually connect with God in a mature and healthy manner from a psychological and psychriatic perspective despite Jesus himself discouraging grown adults from setting boundaries on children to seek him in passages such as Mark 10:14. They naturally assume without any guidance this can become dangerous and extremely unhealthy, such as what happened with Hitler deciding that Germans were the only "chosen people" and that the rest of the world ought to be wiped out.

M: No doubt. Did you keep this brand of your faith in God consistent till the time you first started attending church on a regular basis?

K: Yes, but I had a bout with depression in high school prior to doing so. When I was interviewed by the family physician who was attending to me at the time, he went by a basic diagnostic manual of psychosis before referring me to a professional psychiatrist. 

M: I see, tell me more about this, now that you've had a lot more experiences in the mental health system as both an inpatient and outpatient as well as psychotherapy as both a recipient and student yourself, what do you think was the primary reason your physician felt you needed a profession psychiatrist's evaluation at that period in highschool? 

K: In a nutshell, the reasoning is quite basic really, I associated my symptoms of depression, including vast amounts of physical pain that may be imaginary too much with the suffering of Jesus like I read in the bible when he was crucified. The basic DSM diagnosis was pretty clear cut to my physician at that point I suppose, despite the fact that he was a Christian himself. He likely just thought I didn't feel I was LIKE Jesus, but that I was indeed experiencing some form of psychosis that I WAS Jesus. 

M: I see, I see... Well you've written quite a bit here in this blog space of yours. Albeit this is just a summary and only "surface level" information where you try to keep a lot of more sensitive information from under the public's view. However, other than the seemingly funny title that both your first name and Jesus' has 5 letters in it, I see no concrete evidence from your journal like entries here that would suggest from a psychology perspective that you actually do hold the belief you are Jesus 1.0, as in the original version. As a Christian I can ask you a simple question to help you clarify this, do you have sin in your life?

K: Yes, even as a Christian after I started attending church in the middle of high school, I don't claim to have lived a sinless life as Christ did, there are many things I've thought of and done that I don't think abide very well with my identification of being a "Christ-ian" which a friend of mind hinted to me once during my Ryerson years that I believe she was saying it means "little Christ" as a more rigid Greek or Aramaic translation. 

M: I see, let's revisit this relationship you had with your father a little bit, as you yourself have learned in Harris' course this semester, our relationship with our parents can often affect how we relate to our God, other than we've already established that your dictator mother may have instilled too much of a graceless image of God in your life, tell me more about your thoughts on your mother, father-son relationship in that regard.

K: Well my mother and father never got along. Mom felt like she made a mistake just out of pity to carry on with the decision to stay dating and into marriage. Unfortunately just like Leah and Jacob, my father perhaps never felt truly "loved and accepted" by mom. It was more like mom was just an ends to a means for him sex wise perhaps at the time. Wouldn't be the first time throughout my life time to date that I've seen men who hold this unspiritual notion that holds too tightly to the ideology of 1 Cor 7:2–4 but fail to contextualize the role of a life partner into other scripture like Ephesians and the rest of the bible as a whole. Over the years of being a Christian, I eventually began to see the proverbial value of women, i.e. Proverbs 28–Proverbs 31. So while I certainly believe 1 Cor 7:2-4 is of critical importance, I have arrived at a spot in my life where I am now able to show love so unconditionally to both women and men alike that at times I feel like I need to beat women off (or back slightly from my personal space) with a metaphorical stick haha....

M: Wow, that is certainly a big transition for sure. It also sounds like the absence of your father in your life up until his actual physical death which I have on record happened around the summer of 2011 before your grandmother passed away in 2012 does really tie in a lot to your reliance on the eternal relationship you have secured in your relationship with your deity. Let's revisit that in more detail in a future session. In interest of time, I hope it's ok we put that on the backburner for now as it is really heavy and we should really give it the time it deserves to explore in depth going forward. Is that ok?

K: Absolutely oK, no problem.

M: How about a brief summary of your professional experiences? You mentioned you have a previous degree with overlapping extra courses in both the Electrical and Computer engineering fields. Tell me what has your experience been so far with employment up until your recent return to seminary studies.

K: I have in the past been blessed to work for many industries and organizations, some with international recognition through various connections I had in my previous church community. Someone like my friend RA suggested this was the way to go usually in approaching the job market. But I guess in recent years because God needed me to take time off full-time work for various reasons to teach me more about life as my friend YL had put it during his time as my fellowship counsellor in undergrad, it was hard for me to dive into secular employment again during my time leading up to my return to doing my Masters at MDC.

M: I see, I see... interesting. Well we are definitely running out of time for today so perhaps we will have a part 2 of _ _ _ _ _ 101 at some point. Please summarize your thoughts up to your return to MDC to complete your Masters of Divinity, what were some of your pre-constructions, you've already served God in a voluntary capacity in many ministries in the past, why do you feel you needed to go the route of doing a Masters of Divinity, what were some of your initial goals behind this endeavor?

K: At first I was very hesitant because even up till my first semester at MDC I was still faced with the "alone" [unwed] context. While I know a lot of people do naturally meet someone when they are at seminary or bible college as per what I've seen others do or expressed as a natural process that happens as per the illustrations given by other Pastoral counsellors, I had many circumstances that prevented me from envisioning something like this for myself. And even as I began school this year, I had decided God was leading me to do a clean break away from my past Christian contexts all together. For some reason it was as if God was finally calling me away from my current home that I had established beyond just my immediate family. I had began the journey of learning the John 21 context in a long distance format. It might perhaps eventually bring resolution to my pre-MDC dilemma as well, but that's as you said, not something we're going to be able to cover in this single session. 

Quick snapshot... follow _he style...

 LOL... funny... I will call this one 'the redefinition of home-wrecking' ahahaahha....

The _ _ _ _ _ Awakens... [Sneak peak, the שָׁנָה of 'beyond the metaphorical iceberg']

"I would have to read it...." [K]

Funny how I always told myself that my "seminary experience would be incomplete" without some biblical language studies and I always sided with Hebrew ever since the turn of the decade (during my time at T) and it may end up having a Ephesians 3:20–21 effect (the benediction at L-church-bro, L___ church). When "T" first told me I need to insert an – between verses and told me the name of it, I didn't really like the tonE because of it's similarity to people's names I already knew. But I can see now how it might have just been God's way of telling me that last names can matter as well.

 From my youth, I have never really been a big fan of the Star Wars genre. As one of my (former, divorced) uncles pointed out, the complexity of the story line isn't the same (paraphrase). Another thing is at the time, Star Wars only had like 3 films whereas in the early days Star Trek had at least 3 entire series so there's simply much more story line to follow. Like I was telling my friend S the other day about 2 to 3 weeks ago, "I like narrative therapy" and something I saw online the other day took my רוּחַ away because of it's similarity to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxmcK7QDCxE

"To be honest, I haven't seen much of this series, but I just like THE SIGN..." [MC]

"OH I SEE..." [E_]

(Before finding this video's link, this particular video in my YouTube Preview also caught my eyes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_W9GfQrQ2A) 

Speaking of signs, I have been praying in my heart for over a week now that God will show me whether someone perhaps hopefully thinks of me in a way she values more of an Abraham Lincoln type figure (I want you for God's army type context), like just a Slight spelling correction hahahaha... depending on how she https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SF33K1ts-E

For those who want to watch the rest of the clip, yes, he does mention marriage in a different segment of it. I believe marriage is often a popular topic in the church because it is something that everyone as G puts it: "single or double" can relate to regardless of their 1 Corinthians 7 circumstance. 

I also had a dream this morning that put me in "awaken" status so I think it is best to contextualize the above a bit, least someone misunderstands the other contexts behind it before I jump into "evangelistic mode" as per the Christian-jargon. Perhaps a post from a more secular location that shows why when you're not sure how the other parties' wishes are on things like this before 'full-blown revelation mode' will help. I will give it a Yoda-paraphrase: "If into the secure archives you go, only Matthew 17:20–23 inception you will find..." (theme, when Obi-wan goes into the recordings to see that Anakin killed the Jedi apprentices)

HEE, something else 'caught my eyes' when I had to go to the website to find the reference above:

So to clarify, I certainly do not, like the "Power verse" my bible app gave me the other day during my walk that morning when I was establishing my local 'altar-_ _ _ _ _לְ' regarding "thou shalt not commit adultery", have any adulterous intentions towards DC. 

Kind of funny how the mesh of VC style clashes with my KDC style in the designation of "DC", but I guess I just need to roll with it a little to contextual and finalize this portion of my blog since prior to DA I also knew a DB and now we are at DC haha... Besides, I don't even know what her נַעֲרָה name..., actually, now I do, 'before did not, now do...' ("before cannot..."->it's like an Asian movie paraphrase, but too many spoilers already LOL) DD... Not unlike another person I know, LOL!!! Haha, and my friend ML didn't think God can still speak in names, he gave me the Star Wars prophecy: I gave that up "a long long time ago..." ROFL... Well I guess it might be more applicable to certain contexts more than others, everyone is different. So I guess I was getting close a few years ago with my 'more intimate friend beginning around 2018' during my employment with Home Depot, but still 'not quite there yet'. 

From "the secure archives": (had to correct the spelling on this to match the above, perhaps that guest crew member was onto something?)

"Don't give up אִישׁ" [L]

I know that even if I don't have people wanting to press slander charges on me for the above that the above would at the very least raise some controversy, but please know I've given the following considerations before posting the above:

1. When it comes to a life's narrative context, this information is very dated, not unlike when Mary Conway said the resources for commentaries and etc... available through biblegateway.com aren't very good cause they are dated and people see no value in them hence why you can access them without financial investment. 

2. Though I tried my very best to "bury" [like a Luke 19:20 context] this type of information in the interest of protecting "others", recently I discovered that sometimes when it comes to https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0821640/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 and the James 5:16 principle it isn't always the healthiest thing to keep all of this to burden yourself. Sometimes the person who really needs the most protection or 'prayer' support [M] is actually yours truly.

3. Yes, I am open to taking the above picture down again if you wish to open dialogue with me on doing so. Please be mindful though, that the person who is most hurt by the information I publish to this secured space is really myself so up until inviting a select person in recently, this blog served mostly as 'a confessional type context'. 

I'm not exactly the most experienced of expressing "Agape in a public context" (Pastoral Paraphrase), so in an effort to summarize, save on time and jump into "evangelistic mode" as I mentioned earlier, I will summarize the above by saying, perhaps the reason why decided not to steal Lucas Film's title of the film has something to do with this *wink*... and I guess I will also have to contextualize by telling you all that ever since some relationships in my life had gone sour, I haven't been 'looking my best' in other words, especially as a man who typically doesn't put on makeup or really has a reason to, "it shows". However, I looked in the mirror this morning and had a better appreciation for what I saw, so I am beginning to see how God is 'rebuilding my וְרָחֵל, הָיְתָה, יְפַת-תֹּאַר, וִיפַת מַרְאֶה' =)

Speaking of marriage, I have continued to be "faithful" [R] as much as time permits to what I learned in the workshop I took at 'M-Church bro, M-church, LOL'... Oh I see... maybe we're going somewhere with this... But again, no spoilers ROFL... Back 'on point' to try to cultivate through the AGW group, the people who are Matthew 7:7–14ing using my various background in the area of Christian courtship and dating practices both on a theoretical level as well as I have been praying about it and seeking many years and simply not finding as per the title of MB's book: "the one" (perhaps not until now =) ) [https://www.amazon.ca/One-Trust-Sovereign-Future-Marriage/dp/1986848043/ref=sr_1_9?dchild=1&keywords=ballenger&qid=1610457564&sr=8-9] and yes, this is just one of many books I've read on the subject matter in full. 

There are no limits to when I can or cannot write to this blog other than limits set by other circumstances such as needing to write papers for school or try to earn money etc... However, to close off this particular entry, because "a long long time ago", my continued faith in the institution of marriage (which BTW, leads me to discover there may have been a deeper meaning as to why I haven't been wearing my LOTR ring as much as I ought to recently in a 'married versus unmarried' norm context), LOL W is right, my commentary in parenthesis can be quite long at times. Anyhow, to the point, it brought an older acquaintance to new or rejuvenated faith in the Lord, so it is in that context, I hope my own faith can do the same. RW paraphrase: "There is POWER in a אִישׁ who follows the rhythm of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6wbugWrfLU..." pick a "star-date" from my public bible? O-KAY... -> https://life-of-agent-k.blogspot.com/2010/02/8-i-gladly-bend-knee-8-but-worship-8.html

As per the idiomatic "mic drop", I believe I don't need to type further here for today, it is "good enough" [K].

So I've only taken half of a standard seminary's required Hebraic language studies but even so, I do recall some of the vocab we've covered so far, so in this excerpt of the lyrics to this Hillsongs composition, I will CAPITALIZE all the words I know have an equivalent in Hebrew in interest of saving time not to dig them all up right now (in some cases, it's not word for word, but there's an entire phrase that is idiomatic and commonly found in Hebrew):

רוּחַ LEAD me where my TRUST (the Hebraic word often used in OT in lieu of "faith") is without (<-Hebrew has a 'negative particle' that can commonly substitute "without") BORDERS
Let me WALK upon the WATERS (depending on how you work the Hebrew, doable, i.e. Genesis 1:1–2)
Wherever (Hebrew does have generic words for location, remote, near, etc..) YOU would CALL me
Take me deeper than my FEET could ever WANDER (not exactly a one-to-one as Conway would say, but there is examples of "wandering")
And my FAITH (see first line) will be made stronger (strong is a verb I believe, so if you work it correctly?)
IN THE PRESENCE (Hebrew: "In the face of..." AKA "before", "In the midst of") of my Savior

98 degrees paraphrase...: (8) If you're asking does Jesus love you this much? He does... (8)

iSteve [movie]: "You must DEMOstrate the PATIENCE..." [Mmmm hmm... V _ _ _ _ _]

From Galatians 5:

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh [g]sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you [h]please. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: [i]immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, [j]factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who [k]belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also [l]walk by the Spirit. 26 Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.

Footnotes

1. Galatians 5:1 Some authorities prefer to join with 4:31 and render but with the freedom of the free woman Christ set us free
2. Galatians 5:4 Or would be
3. Galatians 5:5 Lit by
4. Galatians 5:5 Lit out of
5. Galatians 5:10 Lit toward
6. Galatians 5:12 Or cut themselves off
7. Galatians 5:17 Lit lusts against
8. Galatians 5:17 Lit wish
9. Galatians 5:19 I.e. sexual immorality
10. Galatians 5:20 Or heresies
11. Galatians 5:24 Lit are of Christ Jesus
12. Galatians 5:25 Or follow the Spirit

[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%205&version=NASB1995]

A friend I've come across in recent years, and out of respect for his high level of privacy desire, I will not even go with the convention of including his first initial had quoted me the passage above. However, I feel he used it slightly out of context in the sense that he didn't quote the entire passage and I am "highlighting" [RW] the context I am writing from instead today.

It is my sincere hope that given the context of our current times that God now has a means to possibly fulfill something like a https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=and+then+the+end+shall&version=NRSV type context, within our generation that we ought to be mindful of what may be in store in a Genesis 5–10 context. So now I will follow the same "style" and cut off part of a Christian song in the area I would also like to highlight. 

Michael W. Smith – The Wonderful Cross Lyrics

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My Richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from His head His hands His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Oh the wonderful cross (2x)
Bids me come and die and find
That I may truly live

[https://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/michael+w+smith/the+wonderful+cross_10180229.html]

For you Tomlin fans like my friend AL: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/christomlin/thewonderfulcross.html

I have learned throughout the pandemic that what is important isn't how or what we're doing through it. As the following verse goes, it doesn't matter how much or how little you may have, what matters most is how you're using it:

Poverty and Riches

9 Let the believer[c] who is lowly boast in being raised up, 10 and the rich in being brought low, because the rich will disappear like a flower in the field. 11 For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the field; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. It is the same way with the rich; in the midst of a busy life, they will wither away.

Trial and Temptation

12 Blessed is anyone who endures temptation. Such a one has stood the test and will receive the crown of life that the Lord[d] has promised to those who love him. 13 No one, when tempted, should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil and he himself tempts no one. 14 But one is tempted by one’s own desire, being lured and enticed by it; 15 then, when that desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and that sin, when it is fully grown, gives birth to death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved.[e]

17 Every generous act of giving, with every perfect gift, is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.[f] 18 In fulfillment of his own purpose he gave us birth by the word of truth, so that we would become a kind of first fruits of his creatures.

[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1&version=NRSV]

Like 'AJ' pointed out in the past and I was reminded about recently by a psychotherapist, it is important to take a look back at our lives and recognize the things we can be grateful for, so though for privacy reasons I will only include an excerpt of the date I am working from:

"Sept. 17th, 2018

I've been meaning to start this entry for days now but there are a lot of things on my mind. Including who or which team have have won the ICSL tournament as my 'main means of distraction'" .... ... ... ... 

And now we're at present day 01/08/21. I have a good feeling about 2021, even though it is still ridden with challenges with Covid and everything else going on, it is also a good opportunity for me perhaps to announce my plans to reopen WITK (based on my idea also it is like the WIT of K WIT-K, wink, oh yeah!!! K might know a little something about this =D ). If God blesses it enough, I in turn can bless others by hiring on more people to do tasks that aren't as pleasing to my heart as others, like accounting for example, I already have friend(s) such as those N_ people who may have some interests if they are looking to tack on additional work if I don't really need full-time staff right now. After all, one would say "reopening" is very thematic during these times! But that's a whole other story in itself, "heheeeee...." [BC].  I guess I'll just leave it there for now with one closing remark that as Christians we need to remember what we do matters, in other words like that WS movie [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480249/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0], our "Legacy" lives on [LOL, I guess, "I work for Braga now...", yet from another movie, but too many spoilers LOL!]. I certainly have seen that happening in a church I am a part of recently and it's been really sweet so far, even in their use of following my tactic in one of their songs that had a Ghost of Ex Girlfriends past theme as that is one main song from that movie, "Time After Time". Yes, I've noticed now, "...not afraid anymore" [K], "How beautiful!"–כֹּל [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120596/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2] 

Isaiah 52

New Revised Standard Version

Let Zion Rejoice

52 Awake, awake,
    put on your strength, O Zion!
Put on your beautiful garments,
    O Jerusalem, the holy city;
for the uncircumcised and the unclean
    shall enter you no more.
2 Shake yourself from the dust, rise up,
    O captive[a] Jerusalem;
loose the bonds from your neck,
    O captive daughter Zion!

3 For thus says the Lord: You were sold for nothing, and you shall be redeemed without money. 4 For thus says the Lord God: Long ago, my people went down into Egypt to reside there as aliens; the Assyrian, too, has oppressed them without cause. 5 Now therefore what am I doing here, says the Lord, seeing that my people are taken away without cause? Their rulers howl, says the Lord, and continually, all day long, my name is despised. 6 Therefore my people shall know my name; therefore in that day they shall know that it is I who speak; here am I.

7 How beautiful upon the mountains
    are the feet of the messenger who announces peace,
who brings good news,
    who announces salvation,
    who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”

.....

Salvation Is for All

5 Moses writes concerning the righteousness that comes from the law, that “the person who does these things will live by them.” 6 But the righteousness that comes from faith says, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 “or ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say?

“The word is near you,
    on your lips and in your heart”

(that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); 9 because[b] if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For one believes with the heart and so is justified, and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved. 11 The scripture says, “No one who believes in him will be put to shame.” 12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all and is generous to all who call on him. 13 For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

14 But how are they to call on one in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in one of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone to proclaim him? 15 And how are they to proclaim him unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!

[https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+10&version=NRSV]