"The Legacy continues..."

I got the inspiration of the title of this blog from a television show my biological dad and I both used to watch:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103460/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Recently I dug into some of my 'not so surface' archives. I was discovered I had written down some of my other dreams in areas I didn't initially remember putting them in. I was also reminded that my "high school", more specifically, the context of 'returning to high school' was also a reoccurring theme in various dreams. I believe the significance of these dreams very much to be the fact that I had "officially" accepted Christ in my high school days and God was trying to speak something through that context.

Recently I've been attempting to discern some of my recent dreams with someone. Both of us lack (some) experience in this particular area, but we are mutually finding we always have room to grow in other areas as well not just specifically related to the area of discerning how God is speaking in dreams. She also needs to realize also that as much as I appreciate heR recognizing my likeness to Christ, I can never drop the "IAN" or "-ian" as in ChristIAN from my identity.  For those who are unaware, the quick difference between "Christ" and "Christian" is that "Christ" is the genuine article and a "Christian" is an 'imitation' and can never live up to the perfection level of the 'genuine article'.

I find it is good to have friends to help discern some of your dreams, especially if some dreams involve some aspects of your life that have potentially application outside of just your own personal bubble. There have been two prevalant themes in my dreams over my 'intermission' that kept repeating themselves and as my prof DS put it, this is likely cause I wasn't able to discern what God was speaking through them, I will mention only one of the themes here:

I used to have also keep having dreams about returning to high school to improve my grades, I initially wonder which of the two, maybe 3 interpretations to apply in terms of what God was speaking through them 1. You should prayerfully consider getting a re-education in some other discipline apart from the two post high school education areas you already have... 2. You should perhaps return to (where I did my undergraduate) or another University to re-do your undergraduate and improve your grades (as some online job applications such as with IBM I know they specifically pretty much ask you for your entire transcript online when you apply) or since it was in the tech sector, to gain new updated knowledge. 3. Literally return to re-doing my high school credits to improve my Grade Point Average from highschool... But I no longer have dreams with this theme and perhaps they had less to do with my career path than I realized or initially thought or maybe God's just like it's too late to consider those doors anymore...

In today's context, I believe God wanted to "learn" or "re-learn" something from my high school days through presenting me with those dreams. One key piece of information I recall to help unpack the meaning behind this repeating theme isn't just so much "rejection from other people/parties due to my grade point average" as not all elements of dreams are literal. I have now discerned (and the theme no longer repeats) that 'returning to high school' has more to do with God telling me this can be a starting point for reflection in terms of the fact I began my relationship with Christ in high school.

Speaking of the topic of relationships (in general). I remembered today (January 26th, 2018) also there was one Christian speaker from my undergraduate days at University that I had asked how does one tell whether a relationship is "Godly" and he answered: "You can tell whether a relationship is Godly by its fruits..." And we went on to illustrate that he sees there is a strong foundation in my relationship with Christ in the way I behaved myself during his message delivery and that he can see the "fruits" in how he can see that I make listening to God a priority.

God has been helping me realize recently that at some point in my life, "it all went south" or as the cold weather we have been experiencing lately here where I live, how "cold" my heart has perhaps gotten towards God; although I also think it was more like the line from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1496025/?ref_=nv_sr_3 "My heart's not cold... it's broken..." as God also reminded me recently through Wonder Woman's character in the recent Justice League movie. I never did see the first Wonder Woman movie, but I think I can infer enough from watching this one to know what happened in her character's situation and I can relate. 

And I think it kind of all goes back to my original title of this blog in the first place, because of the name of my softball team that year and how "Superheroes" also "lost something" *wink*...

God also brought to mind two separate quotes from my Pastor's Sunday messages that both gave me a sense that God was Speaking, even if they obviously generated two different very natural emotional responses:

"Life is MISERY brother...it's coming..."

"They had to WAIT for these prophecies to come true..."

?

iJacob: "Tell me your dream..."

(hehe not on this blog :P)

2008 Prayer Requests/Aspirations/Goals AKA "I will become a better K..." [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0980970/?ref_=nv_sr_1]

Well the very first prayer request is that I will continue to still yet devote more of my heart to prayer in light of the fact I intend to go back to working full time this year even though I'm still prayerfully seeking and discerning what God could have that look like for me...

Recently a guest speaker pointed out and reminded us of the 'put oil on your head so people do not know you are fasting mentality' [Matthew 6:16-18] in terms of online platforms of showing others the results of the fruits what we do for the Lord. I think there definitely is some truth to that, but it also needs to be balanced with the fact that sometimes people can also be encouraged by what God has done in other people's lives. As well, the bible itself is one such instance of that and as Paul puts it in 2 Corinthians 3:2, we do at times need to continue to see how God works in other people's lives in order to see the 'current context' in which God's doctrines apply in modern day living as God doesn't just speak through a hard copy text, not that God cannot speak through hard or soft copy words of course....But speaking of the irony of first full names sometimes... turns out when my vehicle completely collapsed last night, due to the lack of visibility, I didn't realize I had pulled into a residential passage way and the home owner, his name turns out to be Jacob, ended up very frustrated and irritated over the entire situation because of the inconvenience blocking his driveway caused. Now that the vehicle is finally back in our possession, quite honestly its mechanical state may not be as serious as I think it is, though I'm not too sure as I'm not really good with diagnosing things, it's just really cold at the moment for me to work on it plus I'm already kind of in a very frustrated mood with it this morning after what happened last night and with the whole situation of putting in a lot of work into it over the last 2 months and only getting about 2 weeks of very sparingly usage of it before it broke down yet again. However, I need to stop thinking about the last 20 hours mindset that has escalated from having to involve my immediate/biological family in the situation and remember the 20 minute mindset that I had at the time it broke down and continue to be thankful and rest in the experiences it has allowed me to have in the last 2 weeks (and the greater context of the 2 months also) in terms of how God has blessed me and taught me through the entire experience. I definitely would NOT trade the life transforming experiences of the last 2 months for anything! The situation at home is constantly stressful unfortunately so it is nothing like just taking a moment or two days to mostly "rest" in the First Aid Room when people don't need first aid as it was that year I was volunteering at Missions Fest. 

And through only using initials in my blog (the majority of the time) or more indirect pronouns like Pastor or friend, it is my original intention of this blog to help others see Christ working without potentially causing people to be tempted to worship creations rather than the creator [Romans 1:25]. Anyways, once again I find myself without a working vehicle, but as my Pastor might put it yet again. "It is not the vehicle that you love..." And as well it shouldn't be, but it should be the love of Christ that both compels and motivates us to continue using everything we have, not just material possessions; our mental and physical capacities, our life experiences, and upmost our God given capacity to love like Christ to serve and bless others. :)

I also intend to use my newly healed state to find ways to improve my financial situation through more paid employment if possible. But even if my employment search doesn't lead to a job right away or maybe the job would actually make my financial situation more difficult (this can happen, but a little personal to explain over a public blog), I still want to continue to find ways to as my friend JH put it "continue the momentum" of being more humble and sacrificial rather than self-serving in how I spend time and other resources I have immediately available to me.

 Since I didn't have much time to finish off year 7 in the http://life-of-agent-k.blogspot.ca/2017/11/im-like-vault-baby-locked-down-alex.html post, I might as well just tie it in here since 2017 is still not too far in the past YET... 2017 did indeed start off in a way that could have been more productive as my mother put it, not just on a professional level, but definitely on a spiritual level as well. 2017 also helped me to be more objective to discern that many of the things that I ended up taking a break from over the years was perhaps also part of God's plan to see what really matters in life is ultimately loving Jesus foremost will always be essential in growing, serving, trusting and utmost, as per 1 Corinthians 13, loving as well. It also helped me to regain a greater appreciation of my home town here in Mississauga. Even though a lot of my earlier life here was filled with hurtful experiences, I've now overcome them so maybe God's was speaking to me through my financial circumstances, you really shouldn't leave this place, at least not until I call you elsewhere... And I'm hoping now that I realize this, He will soon now finally give me the additional financial support I have been praying for and as I expressed to R's family, full time work would likely also be a way of giving me emotionally healthy separation from my mother in my day to day... Interesting to see if this initial will be the 'alpha and the omega' and I still continue to seek God's guidance and more importantly providence and assistance in the area...

I wonder if it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLf9q36UsBk for me to go back to using pronouns like 'heR' and etc now without confusing people, but I now need to start another part of my day, so no more on that subject for the moment...