"Think of me..."

Recently when looking for some other things, including my Single in Missions workshop notes from Urbana 2006, I ran into my church bulletin from 02/15/2009 and also some sheets I had written some music lyrics on when I performed for the Rye Idol competition some years ago. I remember I had sung "Think of me..."

"For someone who tried so hard to get something, you sure are quick to let it go..."

Apparently that quote from THE FULL-PACKAGE was still in the clipboard when I was trying to paste something else here for safe-keeping. JM, or maybe you're JY now :P, if you're curious to what that "Full-Package" I made reference to in my e-mail really is, feel free to ask me... It will hopefully give you the same "that explains a lot" feeling it gave me regarding that incident between V and I when I wrote that package some 21 months ago.

I apparently failed to record another short show I was planning to watch so I decided to open up my Spiderman 2 Special Edition DVD instead and noticed there was a 4th subtitle option which is really like that "Pop-up Video" stuff they used to have on MTV that gives you a lot of inside info about the comics so it had more than my anticipated share of undivided attention I had planned to originally give it because of that. Based on the scene I chose to start the DVD from in the Scene Selection menu instead of what I originally had in mind to pick much further along in the film, it brought me back to a scene I had forgotten was even in there.

In this scene, Peter Parker was talking to Dr. Oct (before he became evil) and his wife and the professor was telling him how keeping something "as complicated as love a secret" was not a good thing and it would eat one up inside just like a disease... Ironically, shortly after I wrote another friend an e-mail about how I've entrusted everything related to my marriage into God's hands now and made reference to a sermon of my Pastor's about Isaiah 39 and Isaiah 40 some time ago, something interesting happened.....

I randomly opened up my bible and I just so happen to land in 2 Kings 20... and so having a spiritual sense/instinct about this, I decided to read it. See, that's the key here people, you gotta have a sense of calling behind it to do this, don't assume that every time you randomly flip through the bible that is exactly what God is trying to say to you, because it isn't something I do on a daily basis or anything. But anyhow I thought to myself "Envoys from Babylon" (as it was open to the second half of the chapter on this page)... are these the same as the ones in Isaiah 39??? YES! Lo and behold, I cross referenced the two passages and discovered they are in fact two same accounts of the same event. I later also read the beginning of 2 Kings 20 and I was like "Hey... Hezekiah got sick... like a disease, LOL just like that scene in Spiderman 2..." BUT more importantly, God delivered Hezekiah through it all and I know it's truly like I told my friend in that e-mail, He'll get me through my struggles also.

It reminded me of another incident some weeks ago at church when we had sung one of the songs I mentioned in my previous blog entry at the end of church and I noticed a friend had what I initially thought was her textbook open so I asked "What are you reading (or maybe I said 'studying') there ____?" I had to repeat the question a few times "What are you reading ____?"... "What are you reading____?"... and finally I got my answer "Oh Isaiah... but I'm not really reading it...I just have it open..." It's interesting that this is the second time I had acted on a "spiritual hunch" and yet again the other party never understood my question at first. It's funny I had to ask that question like maybe 3 times it could have been, LOL it's like "Just answer the question, stop making my spiritual pilgrimage difficult!" :P

"It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile... winning's winning..."

In a last ditch effort to find peace about the whole situation and also to get over my overwhelming desire to win the MCBCSL tournament this year even though I knew the odds were stacked strongly against us, but I couldn't sleep the whole night, I had to do something...I "made a covenant with my God" or a vow if you want to call it that instead; That if I won the tournament, I would, well you know... "tie the knot"... Well I did not win, the MCBCSL tournament, which was initially very disappointing, but I feel it was maybe for the best. Besides it's not like I feel like I shouldn't "fulfil my end of the bargain" (which is ironically one of the main themes of my next seminary paper, please pray for me because I've been having such writers' block lately).

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished. [1 Chronicles 28:20]

But instead, I've learned I need to trust further in God's timing over the whole thing, because after all, even God delayed, hehehe :)

"_ _-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ..... _ _ _ "

Insider hint: "I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _' WHITE KNIGHT..."

ROFL hint: "Not 'IF' K____.... but 'WHEN'...."

"Because I can take it..."?

After the last blog entry, I dunno what you guys (or "readers") think about me. I suppose I should be more like most other bloggers and give you an actual update to my life.

I'm still waiting on my (re)application for seminary to fall through. There is a bit of a delay waiting on a reference, such a feeling of deja-vu... Just like the first time. Haha, complete with the job hunting too. I need to step that up a notch too, admist getting some other things done that I normally didn't get a chance to finish the year before.

Taking a semester off in the second half of the summer for softball was good. Gave me a chance to unwind and also keep up with my fitness level. It was also an interesting experience leading a younger team this year. It was good, because more people could make it to pratice, at least at first. It's tough running a team when people are not euthusiastic or able to attend team events. My younger brother was also on my team this year which is a first. He also won the Most Improved Player award and I'm proud of him making it to the pratices and improving as much as he did considering he's never played softball before. I guess buying him the cleats through my hook-up to the Nike sale was a good idea also. ;)

Haha so much S-ball talk... I am finding with my new church's general enthuaism for CCSA/softball and our humble history of MAT and other awards etc... that if you love Softball, it's gotta be RHCBC... ;) I haven't forgotten my own humble softball beginnings... from being someone who initially didn't even want to play because of the hot weather and all and some of the years of summer we've had recently, except maybe for this one, it's being pretty hot at times... In my own CCSA year it was kind of cloudy during... LOL... "cloudy" eh... most of my games, so it really wasn't that bad. HAHA I should have been playing CCSA this year... it's an Urbana year... "It is... tradition..."

I've realized something today, that I need to go back to singing "Christian worldview" songs more. I was trying to sing a few today when I was walking to the mailbox and trying to call a friend of mine but ended up with "other half" instead. I first was trying to put out Wind Beneath My Wings, but didn't really remember all of the lyrics... then I was trying to get Power of Your Love, but that was a "fail" also... ended up doing more of a medley in the end, a mixture of the verse of You're All I Want with the chorus of Power of Your Love... In other words, something like this...:

Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm A Friend
You are my desire
No one else will be
Cos no one else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I’ll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm A Friend
You are my desire
No one else will be
No one else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I’ll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love