Most disgusting thing I ever saw...

Today I made another uphill trip to visit some more of my uptown/Markham friends. I wanted to make the best of the holidays before they were over. And some of my friends are only here during the Christmas break and live as far out of town as the United States during other times of the year.

Well of course no trip to North Toronto or "da hill" would be completely without at least a short stop to Lovegety. So there I was and I needed to go to the washroom first, so here is where I share the experience of where I came up with the subject line of this blog entry in the first place when I first started it.

I'm watching this program on CBC Newsworld and it was talking about the sex-revolution or rather you can call it CRAZE now happening in China and it's pretty err SEXUAL... like real life Austin Powers, except everyone's being so sexual active. If it's as serious as the news program makes it sound, it's like even worse than the way J.H. makes North American or "our" society sound in his book, in fact MUCH WORSE... To quote the program (insert strong FOB/chinese accent) "my mom will definetly say... wow... real life is just like TV..." Pretty crazy awakening, definetely not like the old-fashioned conservative China one may expect. In fact it's more like the chinese parents over here are perhaps even more conversative than over there :P "Far too many men, chasing far too little men... Armies of men now face the prospect of never having a wife or family..." For a friend of mine who would not even dare read "Every Young Man's Battle" because the language was too descriptive definetly should stay away from this news program... LOL in fact, stick with countries other than this/these ones for STM too! The world is a very dirty place and anything from sex to marriage to dating has become extremely corrupted. "The sexual revolution is not just changing sex, it's changing the chinese as well ... (blah, blah) and many families are now starting to value having girls..."

I'm not heavy... I'm your brother...

I pulled these lyrics off my 6/2/06 entry:

Neil Diamond - He Ain't Heavy... He's My Brother Lyrics

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where

But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he, to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on our way to there
Why not share

And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Quote from that entry "Hang in there JH... God beam my prayers up!"

The God hearing/beaming my prayers attitude is still in effect. However, one thing I should add is right now I am the one in need! Last night I was fortuante enough to be sharing and praying with a close friend of mine VY till around 3AM. So much has been happening in my life right now, whether positive or (seemingly) negative... My spiritual health (as opposed to physical in the case of Justin) is really in need of massive prayer right now! Please pray for me! Well actually physically I am ill right now too! But my spiritual is more important to me and it's a long story, but a part of me doesn't care too much about my physical well being anymore :/

Love Actually...

I've never actually seen this movie, but based on the the IMDB synopsis, I'm sure people, at least secular couples may be able to relate.

First let's re-look at God's definition of love, for added emphasis I'm going to use the Amplified Bible:

1 Corinthians 13
1IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such [a]as is inspired by God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2And if I have prophetic powers ([b]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).

3Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or [c] in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing.

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy ([d]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

9For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

10But when the complete and perfect (total) comes, the incomplete and imperfect will vanish away (become antiquated, void, and superseded).

11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.

12For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as [e]in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand [f]fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been [g]fully and clearly known and understood [[h]by God].

13And so faith, hope, love abide [faith--conviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things; hope--joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love--true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I found the title of that movie more appropriate to quote, but as for the contents, like I said, I haven't actually seen that movie, but I will quote from another movie instead:

Jack: "We have a house in Jersey. We have two kids, Annie and Josh. Annie's not much of a violin player, but she tries real hard. She's a little precocious, but that's only because she says what's on her mind. And when she smiles... And Josh, he has your eyes. He doesn't say much, but we know he's smart. He's always got his eyes open... you know, he's always watching us. Sometimes you can look at him and you just know he's learning something new. It's like witnessing a miracle. The house is a mess but it's ours. After 122 more payments, it's going to be ours. And you, you're a non-profit lawyer. That's right, you're completely non-profit, but that doesn't seem to bother you. And we're in love. After 13 years of marriage we're still unbelievably in love. You won't even let me touch you until I've said it. I sing to you. Not all the time, but definitely on special occasions. We've dealt with our share of surprises and made a lot of sacrifices but we've stayed together. You see, you're a better person than I am. And it made me a better person to be around you. I don't know, maybe it was all just a dream. Maybe I went to bed one lonely night in December and I imagined it all. But I swear, nothing has ever felt more real. And if you get on that plane right now, it'll disappear forever. I know we could both go on with our lives and we'd both be fine, but I've seen what we could be like together. And I choose us. Please Kate... one cup of coffee...You could always go to Paris...Please.. please... not tonight"

Kate: "Ok Jack..."

I may actually use this quote (or something very similiar too) in the near future considering the present circumstances... Not that I don't want to update, but I consider this entry a "bread crumb" which seems to "work for her" as "Alex Hitchkins" put it so I really can't reveal TOO much.

You see... I too had a dream, two actually... one where I proposed to a girl and a second one where yet a different girl proposed to me. In fact, I dunno if you can really call them dreams. Usually when I dream, it's semi-vague and you (or at least I) tend to forget it shortly after you/I wake up... But these two particular "dreams" may actually have been "visions":

[ The Day of the LORD ] "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions." [Joel 2:28, also quoted in Acts 2:17]

Not only were these dreams extremely vivid and life-like to the point I thought I was actually there experiencing them as a real-life event, they also stayed in my memory. In addition, I also prayed that God would show me his will through my dreams, so I am cautious about dismissing them too easily...

Besides the point of this blog is more to express my own personal views on the situation and while your own unconditional love story may be different from mine, hopefully God will inspire something in your heart as your read this entry that you can come up with your own personal application based on what you see here...

A part of me used to wonder why, why am I suffering for... I remember how I told my cell group leader I really don't have much preference anymore in who I pursue as a potential made and he was saying it's a sign of desperation... Perhaps he was right... Well I do have a few minimum requirements, I want a girl (female, not a male for a spouse)... :P Ok ok, she has to be Christian at least and also a non-smoker. Really not too high expectations...I do have a few "preferences" on personality type, but other than that, almost anything can go... But I can't forget what I was taught and I have read, that God will provide like it says in Genesis 24. I believe Ravi Z. had a point about this, it isn't necessarily that God won't provide, it's more of whether or not we notice He is providing.

I confess, even when I first accepted Christ, I still wanted to choose my own mate, the one "I" wanted, God didn't need to be part of the equation. Afterall, there are those who believe it's completely up to free will. But I feel as with any other aspect of our Christian life, there's free will, but then there's also God's will...Sometimes our will coincides with God's will, but as inperfect human beings, it doesn't always.

Anyhow, this story short of starts as far back as 8 or more years ago, closer to when I first became a Christian. I was still young (and perhaps also stupid :P) then... Not quite in my 20s yet... Life just seems easier when you're younger, especially when it comes to stuff like marriage.

I started becoming interested in girls even before I became a Christian. I guess the way our society is exposed to certain things at a young age, we are lead to believe we should just let our emotions control us the moment we have time. So I remember my first crush was like way back in grade 3 to grade 5. I was interested in her, but her primary love interest was somebody else. But it's funny, because she once told her friends a list of people she was interested in, that guy being #1 and I was like on the very bottom as #6 LOL... Well at least I was on the list, I dunno if maybe she was just "being nice" because she knew/thought I was interested in her. I still remember the expression and shock on her friends' faces as if they would not believe she could possibly be interested in me too! I wonder if I used to be some sort of ugly duckling or something...Perhaps I still am, or rather we would need to define it as something else since I'm NOT young anymore...

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side


There were a few other girls after that, all the way up to my highschool days, but I never really had a serious relationship, if any relationship at all with any of them. According to the very first chapter/prelude of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, that may be a good thing. It's been a while since I've last read that series of books and the primary reason is I've been trying to keep my mind off marriage. At first I was concerned I was idolizing marriage and should reduce the time I spend dwelling and praying on it, but later I find I've been trying to deny it altogether. It wasn't till this one time at CCF one of my friends was telling/encouraging me how we ought not to completely deny these desires to get married because they are natural and marriage can also be a gift from God. Not that I disagree, but like Joshua Harris put it, there's also a season for everything and I don't think God has His timing for me to move onto the season of courtship just yet... Even if I am "getting older now and you're (I'm) not married..." I had a pretty casual view of dating back then, if one girl didn't work out or like me, I often moved onto the next without any hestitation. Also, I didn't really do the "courtship" as outlined by Joshua Harris. I basically was looking for someone that attracted me and tried my best to attract her in return.

As the years went by, I finally met someone more important than any girl...

Title: Artist: AVALON Song: We Are The Reason Album: JOY - ID: 72695 - Date and time (posted): 2004-09-01 18:27:04
To comment on this song's lyrics (Or read other people's comments), Please scroll down

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find

But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

He is my reason to live

[http://www.lyricsandsongs.com/song/72695.html]

In case it's not clear, I am talking about Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour. If you don't know Jesus as your Saviour yet, you may wanna stay tuned for one of my future entries where I will be retyping a old gospel tract previously written by me I found.

I dunno if it's just age or my lack of (so called) "skills" ever since I gave up being the "player" I sort of once was in my non-Christian days, but perhaps God has some "method to the madness" that is my single-hood ever since I've accepted Christ (around 9 years ago). I would like to believe He is answering my prayers to let Him be in control of my marriage... prayers that I started praying around 8 years ago...

There are those who believe romantic love and marriage is all up to free will. I agree, to some extent I suppose...There are quite a number of Christian books/authors I read that state it may not ONLY consist of free will though. So where is my stand then? Well, somewhere in the middle I guess, what did you expect? :P It will be interesting to see in the future how a discussion at *seminary* will go on this topic. ;)

On December 21st, 2007 I had the privilege of attending the RHCBC Christmas banquet again this year. Coincidentally our church/fellowship didn't have any program that night anyhow and it was a good chance for me to be re-acquainted or catch up with people I know there. I also really liked the Pastor's way of explaining how Christianity is not about a set of rules, but God giving us the moral empowerment and freedom to want to do the right thing because it is the right thing, relationship with Christ....Hehe "Be a man! Do the right thing!" :P I also recall reading the intro/prelude of a book called "Do the right thing" when I had some free time before CCF at Ryerson this month, it was interesting:

"If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." [1 John 1:10]

Instead of the usual expected skit or singing perhaps, they just used a music video this year. It was the Christmas Shoes music video (based on a movie by the same name), the couple scene made me cry (but at least it was dark).

(POST NOT YET COMPLETED)

-> Singing of "Above all"... "Like a Rose, trampled on the ground..." brought on a few more tears

Quote from Spiderman 2:
"Intelligence is not a privilege, it's a gift and you use it for the good of mankind..." (hmm.. I better double check this quote...)
-------------------------------------------------------

NICKELBACK LYRICS

"How You Remind Me"

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"

yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

it's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"

yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what i really am
This is how you remind me
Of what i really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i-ve been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"
yet, yet
are we having fun yet [3x]

...for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom;

I've committed to try to blog once a month on the "directional" sermons given by our senior Pastor. This month our topic was mainly about "ownership and stewardship"...With one of primary passages as 1 Chronicles 29...

Let me first summarize some points from the sermon revelant to the post:

1. We need to understand God is the Creator and everything ultimately belongs to Him.
2. Everything we own was given to us by God in the first place/initially, nothing we own can be truly ours...
3. We can only give to God what really is His in the first place... so in essence in financial terms, there's nothing we can really give to God in the net calculation...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Happy Birthday FL...

Today is one of my CCF friend's birthday and she just turned 20 today. We went out to dinner and MHQ to celebrate and I also got a chance to play some Initial D and Jitz...We made a pretty funny video as a gift:

"I want it that way" remix video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8qlCiG9IiI

Unedited version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aigPKGMkzkQ

According to her MSN e-mail, she's also a big S Club fan, here's one of the songs we sung last night and I was thinking about some of these lyrics during our sermon today too:

S CLUB 7 LYRICS

"Never Had A Dream Come True"

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you


[Thanks to tweetylover162001@yahoo.com, DancingGurl357911@yahoo.com, trendychick056@comcast.net, af_blonde_09@yahoo.com for correcting these lyrics]

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

[http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sclub7/neverhadadreamcometrue.html]

Now don't get me wrong, I WAS paying attention to the sermon. I just happen to be thinking about this song because the sermon reminded me about some possible bad decisions in the past I cannot take back but some of them at least I can do something about correcting in the future... So even though:

"Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time"

I don't believe that:

"There's no use looking back or wondering"

Afterall one of the main points in the sermon was that experience is a teacher and through experience we can learn how to be better stewards for God. I figure writing some personal reflection on the sermon may help me gather some thoughts on how I'm going to lead the discussion for fellowship on Friday.

At the very beginning of the sermon, our senior Pastor was describing how some people withold money they could offer to God whilst others withhold time. It's a pretty interesting coincidence that earlier on in the week on Friday in our fellowship we were listening to John Piper's "Don't waste your life" sermon or at least one of his sermons in the series. That sermon shared a similiar point about how everything we have from is a gift from God. Like that verse says:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. [James 1:17]

When we grasp the concept that everything we have is really from God, we need to change our outlook and not be so selfish and allow God to use what's really His as He sees fit. Including ourselves...

I found this from one of my old April 2007 entries:

"If God wants something to happen, and you're sure, don't fight it... also don't delay it, commit to it, your mind body and soul [Deuteronomy 6:5/Matthew 22:36-39], even if God's schedule is DIFFERENT than yours."

I like the movie I-Robot (and not just because there's no pretty much no romance scenes in it :P there's definetely no kissing which is starting to be rare in movies nowadays). I also suspect the writer may be Christian do to certain analogies used in the movie. Here's one quote I feel is related to this particular sermon:

"Do you believe we were all created for a purpose? I certainly do..."

This is basically an expansion of the same point, about offering what really belongs to God, to God. Our senior Pastor also quoted this passage in his sermon:

"10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty." [Malachi 3:10-11]

Allow me to also quote the two verses before/above it:

7 Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you," says the LORD Almighty.
"But you ask, 'How are we to return?'
8 "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me.
"But you ask, 'How do we rob you?'
"In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. [Malachi 3:7-9]

Like a rose trampled on the ground....

Today our senior Pastor preached about "treating the earth kindly" which I think is a pretty important topic in our society today. As Christians we know we shouldn't kill other people, but there's some truth to one of the lines in Romeo Must Die when the guy says "Guns don't kill people, people kill people..." True in that context he was refering to people are the ones that need to pull the trigger, but we do that about everyday, in fact I'm consuming electricity now to write this blog and the popcorn I'm eating to try to put me to sleep as I was saying to my other friend "it works for Sumo wrestlers" since it just passed 3AM had to come from somewhere also....

This is the link in my blog today in case it doesn't work for you http://wip.warnerbros.com/11thhour/...

It's the movie our senior Pastor used in his sermon...

Ok now for a more personal touch... here I am mourning and groaning over having to see other couples whilst I am still single, but somewhere out there somebody out there is most likely dying from environmental related factors... Opps... so much for thou shalt not kill? I know you think it's a bit extreme to say my blogging is killing that person, I admit it's not really THAT serious, but eventually my energy use will contribute negatively to the environment in some way most likely and as Russell Peters is famous for saying "in that time... somebody gonna get a hurt real bad" LOL... But the real joke is on us... we are killing people without even knowing it sometimes and it's not a bullet to the head, it's more like a slow, painful, cruel death... Global warming alone probably kills a lot of people every day nowadays... Take an example of a quote from an article revealed by a quick Google of the following key words "Global warming related deaths":

"In July 1995, a heat wave killed more than 700 people in the Chicago area alone."

That's 1995 people, back when my mom's Accord was first sold on the market... think about how much more destroyed is the earth 12 years since then... why is gas so expensive? Because we are running low on it... meaning we're about to max out... you would think God being all knowing (AKA omniscient) would not put enough gas on our planet for us to kill ourselves right? I can't speak on God's behalf, but my guess is "WRONG"!

Well I'm not saying "don't drive"... I drive myself and more modern (AKA newer cars) aren't just being built more fuel efficient out of economic necessity... So ya, a 2007 4-cylinder Accord is likely more efficient than the rusty old 95 I borrow from my mom... but hey the car itself is a lot of garbage in itself, that's in fact the #1 factor of why North Americas produce the most garbage in the world... Believe it or not I usually can still average 7L to 12L on 91 octane for every 100KM I travel on my mom's Accord though, of course a lot depends on traffic and other factors such as use of AC and local VS highway milelage... But 7L/100Km which I can get sometimes isn't bad at all and sometimes that's using AC as long as the highway is clear.... I'm not rich enough to afford a Hybrid, but 7L/100Km is actually close to 10% less fuel efficient when I initially compared it to the V6 2005 Accord Hybrid.... (2007 numbers may have greater variation) and all that on about $200-$250 worth of mods I installed myself in attempts to make it more fuel efficient while not compromising reliability...

What did I do? Not much and I'm not saying you will get these gains in efficient as great as on this particular car, but not much... NGK Iridium spark plugs, MSD Super Conductive wires and a K&N reusuable (as opposed to disposable) air filter and I fill up with Superclean 91 Octane at Petro Canada close to 100% of the time (sometimes a P.C. isn't around and I have to do another station)... But hey, considering I did my research to know that my engine is very similiar (if not the same as the 1992-1994 Prelude engines) it's not hard to see why I'm getting such good #s and I'm not saying your car will necessary get a similiar improvement... but just goes to show that a conscious decision to drive with better (more "fuel efficient", even though some peopLe say I drive like a granny :P) driving habits and a few simple upgrades can go a long way...

Ok mind you, those parts don't last a lifetime (with the exception of the air filter) and need to be replaced from time to time... And they do cost more in terms of $$$ than the regular stuff (about $60-70 more each time) but the average life of high end parts like these even the plugs only need to be replaced once every 2.5 to 3 years (3 year warranty on the plugs)... And yes, 91 octane costs me more in the long run even if it's the most efficient grade for my car and it probably polutes more than regular 87 octane as a trade-off... But one of my good friends once told me ALL old cars usually run more efficient on premium fuel even his old Corolla... And my cousin says the same for all cars universally run more efficient on higher octane... One of my friend's drives a 2000 SE purely stock Civic, gets about 10% more fuel efficiency on 91 octane over regular, so economically he breaks even, environmentally, I'm not sure...

Ok I'm going to try to sleep again now, wasn't very successful around 1AMish... Time for me to shut down and try to recharge my natural batteries, but this entry is likely...

TO BE CONTINUED....

As I said, I will continue, so here goes... First let me explain why I'm quoting a lyric from the Above All song by Michael W. Smith as my blog titled. For those of you who heard the sermon, you will know our senior Pastor used an analogy of a rose(s) given by a male to his lover and how if she throws them down and stomps on it/them you really don't need to ask if she loves him because of the way she's treating what he's given her as an analogy for how us humans sometimes treat this planet Earth.

Personally, I'm not at all fond of anything romance related whether they be jokes, analogies, images or whatever so that's probably also the reason why this particular part of the sermon stuck in my mind... OH did it stick in my head! :( Writing the first part of this blog entry passed 4AM is definetely evidence attributed to that fact... *sigh*...

A friend recommended I turn to 1 Corinthians 13 for guidance... Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that 1 Cor. 13 cannot be used as a guide and reference for marriage, but I somewhat despise the idea of it ALWAYS been used at marriage hence possibly limiting the passage itself if people don't understand that in context it is refering to AGAPE love and not exclusive to marriage...

Here is my continuation, let me start by quoting the NIV version of 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 off the biblegateway.com website:

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Footnotes:

1 Corinthians 13:1 Or languages
1 Corinthians 13:3 Some early manuscripts body that I may boast

I remember how these verses were also quoted in the movie A Walk to Remember... Ok I'll have to side with my friend, I guess it IS WELL written...Like I think I typed earlier, I really think this passage applies to agape and isn't restricted nor exclusive to couples.

Recently because of all the power and also responsibility I had during my supervisor job at the elections... I thought wow, now maybe I know how Spiderman feels... Here's a quote(s) from that movie:

[in Aunt May's hospital room, talking about Mary Jane]
Peter Parker: Well, Harry's in love with her. She's still his girl.
Aunt May: Isn't that up to her?
Peter Parker: She doesn't really know who I am.
Aunt May: Because you won't let her! You're so mysterious all the time. Tell me, would it be so dangerous to let Mary Jane know how much you care? Everybody else KNOWS...

Going with this theme that actions speak louder than words, a part of me wonders if I really need to tell the woman I love how I feel about her... Maybe people can see it on my face even... If even Someone whom I don't feel that way about can make the mistake of thinking I feel that way about her, can I really hide the way I feel from the woman I do love?

Masquerade Lyrics (Phantom Of The Opera)

Phantom Of The Opera - Masquerade Lyrics

Masquerade!
Paper faces on parade . . .
Masquerade!
Hide your face,
so the world will
never find you!

Masquerade!
Every face a different shade . . .
Masquerade!
Look around -
there's another
mask behind you!

Flash of mauve . ..
Splash of puce . . .
Fool and king . . .
Ghoul and goose . . .
Green and black . . .
Queen and priest . . .
Trace of rouge . . .
Face of beast . . .

Faces . . .
Take your turn, take a ride
on the merry-go-round . . .
in an inhuman race . . .

Eye of gold . . .
Thigh of blue . . .
True is false . . .
Who is who . . . ?
Curl of lip . . .
Swirl of gown . . .
Ace of hearts . . .
Face of clown . . .

Faces . . .
Drink it in, drink it up,
till you've drowned
in the light . . .
in the sound . . .

Masquerade!
Grinning yellows,
spinning reds . . .
Masquerade!
Take your fill -
let the spectacle
astound you!

Masquerade!
Burning glances,
turning heads . . .
Masquerade!
Stop and stare
at the sea of smiles
around you!

Masquerade!
Seething shadows
breathing lies . . .
Masquerade!
You can fool
any friend who
ever knew you!

Masquerade!
Leering satyrs,
peering eyes . . .
Masquerade!
Run and hide -
but a face will
still pursue you!

[http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Phantom-Of-The-Opera/Masquerade.html]

Good quotes...

I know I haven't blogged in a while because I've been extremely busy and also didn't want to use the computer too much while my eyes were being healed... but seeing the contents of my last entry (below), I wonder if anyone still reads this :P On perhaps a related note, I commented on Joshua Harris' website/blog the other day/week, checked it about a week ago, but still don't see my comment there :( Nonetheless, here are two good quotes for you to chew/ponder on:

The first one I found in a *seminary* newsletter, you see I have about 3 months or less to decide where I should start my seminaries, so I've been trying to read and research more...

"Life is not just about a career or a calling, but it is the journey to become the person God created each person to be!"

I guess I kinda have 3... cause I tried to find the author of this quote and found some interesting part of the article that's perhaps worth quoting, hehe it should still be less than 10% of the total article and hopefully not infringing on any copyrights...

"Identifying with Christ

David Mwangi graduated with the Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy. When he left Nairobi, Kenya for Toronto, Canada in January 2000, he says he didn't want much out of life--not much except the opportunity to play sports and study the Bible. He started the second leg of his life's journey at *seminary* in September 2000 and by December of that year, was married to a fellow student."

Whoa.. how much God can change a person in one year? :O Hehe, don't worry Seaton, I'm not enrolling in "Bridle College" :P... in fact RJC and those who read my e-mails may know that's one of the reasons that actually turns me off from seminaries for lack of a better way to state it than something which could be misinterpreted to be sexual in itself ("turns off")...

The second one I got from the bottom of an e-mail a co-worker forwarded to me...

Happiness keeps you sweet, Trials keep you strong,

Sorrows keep you human,

failures keeps you humble, Success keeps you glowing,

But only God Keeps

You going!

New cell, lost your #s, call me...

My old cell phone died, it wasn't even that old, but it died, seeing it wasn't worth so much I tried to bring it to a friend to see what he could do with it. But left it at church and then I tried to find it, but it was gone... Oy...

Anyhow, long story short, I now have a new cell, but I don't have your contacts in it...

So...

For those of you who know my cell # and want me to have your contact, give me a ring... I don't think I'll have the airtime to answer ALL your calls, since I can still only afford a prepaid plan and I have oh so many people who need me to add them back... so please don't be offended if I don't pick up your call... just leave me a voicemail and I'll add you... I promise to call you back if you want, just say so in your msg...

So ya, call my cell if you want... it's the same # still... if you need my cell #, you can also request it by e-mailing me...

K

Hehe the link is back...

Or rather the youTube video, I know I haven't blogged for a while but that's the way it's gonna be, I'll be blogging again soon...

LORD, give me strength!

I know I'm not a student anymore.... But there's one proverb to apply here: Nobody ever stops learning and "learning is a lifelong process". It's just a matter of what and how you learn.

I've learned...

I need to schedule myself better on a week to week basis... but sometimes there's things you cannot anticipate, like my insomia last week and me being both super tired and super busy these few weeks.

If God wants something to happen, and you're sure, don't fight it... also don't delay it, commit to it, your mind body and soul [Deuteronomy 6:5/Matthew 22:36-39], even if God's schedule is DIFFERENT than yours.

Renouncing Christ in your actions is much more worse than words... and if that is the only thing that works when you are trying to stop feeling conviction in your heart to do something for God, it will work... but be careful, God's going to come find you again and his love with overwhelm you to the point, your tears of joy can even run out!

This is specific to me personally, my sanity and my so called "genius" wisdom is in Christ... Christ alone, apparently certain people thought I was crazy, ya, maybe I was, because without Christ, I'm nothing...But now that I've God Christ back in full strength people think I'm really something!

It's true! The busier you are, the more you need to pray, so even though I'm SWAPPED and this week feels worse than having 5 exams in one week mind you... so I need to e-mail my prayer circle now...

K

My apologies...

Sometimes I can be so busy, I neglect to READ my own posts before copy and pasting them. That last paragraph on my Urbana sharing was really meant to be a personal matter between me and my prayer support circle.

(the following infomation has been posted for a succifient amount of time as a disclaimer to infomation that was posted in error and is pending replacement)

But for now...

[Colossians 3:13-14]

13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of ONE BODY you were called to peace. And be thankful.

I'm a S2000 ;)

Interesting... I used to want to get a S2000 because I'm a Honda man... But then I found out from Tim that the insurance would be expensive, like $5000/year... Oh well, maybe when I get a REAL job :P

I'm a Honda S2000!

You live on the edge, and you live for the adrenaline rush. You don't need luxuries, snob appeal, or superfluous gadgets. You put your top down, get your motor revving, and take all the curves that life throws at you at full speed. So what if you spin out occasionally?

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

I am S _ _ _ I...

Urbana sharing...

I know this post is kinda late, but I guess better late than never... Besides the next Urbana won't be till 2009 anyhow, so you still have almost 3 whole years to look forward to it :P

So ya, I went to Urbana... yeah! And yes, it did cost me $600 But actually, it probably won't in the long run, cause the church is subsidizing some of it. For example, my registration fee, for a non-student, the conference costs well over $400, I think close to $450... but I used the AFC discount code and it was only like $395 after that. Then I only wrote a check for $295 USD because $100 USD was paid by our group coordinator Lisa for all of us. She also paid for the bus ride there up front and I think the Hotel might also be covered by the church as well. Altogether, there is supposed to be $3000 (CDN$ I think) worth of subsidy spread among ten people who went. I saw some of you at Urbana as well, which was nice. :) Especially you Johnathan which I haven't seen for so long, it was nice of you to have lunch with us. Vince, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you guys at dinner that day, dinner was at 5:30 and it was almost 6:00 when another friend from my bus came to the Hotel and I went to dinner with him. Later that day, in the dinner line, I also ran into a CC 2006 friend Evelyn Fu.... she didn't quite recognize me at first and we both kinda gave each other the weird squinting look then I was like "Evelyn?"... So was it worth it? I think so! Eric makes fun of me saying I haven't found my calling yet... Well wake up and smell the coffee, I think most people Urbana or not have not found their calling yet. Some people think that Urbana is more of a conference just for people who plan to be Missionaries... I think not... I do believe what the speakers are saying, that we all have a calling and I don't think that all of us necessarily have a calling to be a missionary, but we do all have a mission and we do all have a calling from God! In terms of calling, well I did have a strong feeling that I need to do something for God at the last night when we also had a joint 22,000+ people communion. See how many people are there? Told you it is a once in a lifetime event that every Christian should attend. But actually I know at least several people whom are attending Urbana for at least the second time. A lot of church leaders also go, I saw Rev. Dr. DW from *seminary* there when I was in line for the washroom. I also had this dream, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell me something... BTW, this dream did not happen during Urbana, but after, when I was sleeping in my own bed at home. So anyhow, my dream was that I turned a Brothel into a centre for orphans and those recovering from Prostitution. Interesting... But I also had another strange dream that night, in this second dream I had after that first one, I dreamt I was reading my friend Queenie's blog and it was a December 31st entry and she was saying how Dec. 31st depresses her cause it reminds her of her ex back in 2001... Weird... Well part of the reason why I often have multiple dreams is because I often wake up in the middle of the night to go the washroom, #1...

Ok, well actually I can't remember the second dream that night. But it's been a while since I started this e-mail (about a week) and I've had another interesting Christ related dream. I was evangelising to my ex-coworker at Nihon Auto when my other co-worker who I think I remember is Siek or some other religion started talking about re-incarnation. So then I presented a point about re-incarnation. What if there's person A, who's the re-incarnation of Hitler and person B, the re-incarnation of Mother Teresa? When you think about it, there's really not too much person A can do in terms of good deeds to make up for the deeds of Hitler. Likewise, what can person B do that is so bad to offset the good deeds of mother Teresa? When you think about it, where is the justice in re-incarnation? Why should you in your present life pay for the consequences of your past life?

But anyhow, Urbana was good! :) Other than it being a really long bus ride, it didn't seem like a really long retreat to me. I guess cause I've been to Campus Challenge and that's already a 4 day retreat so Urbana really only feels like 1 day longer. I heard Winners fellowship also has/had some 1 week retreats before. On the first night, the speaker was trying to tell us we need to use the bible to influence the world. So he had us hold the bible in one hand and our cellphones in the other. But before that, he wanted us to turn on our cellphones and to text a friend to tell them we are at Urbana. I tired, but was unsuccessful, both me and my other Telus using friend couldn't do it. Apparently when I was down there in St. Louis, my cellphone had a triangle on the top of the display. My friend says "that means your cellphone company is charing you more money...", but I think it's more than that. I did try making a call with it because my friend didn't show up where we were meeting at the hotel before dinner yet. But it said I was connected to Verizon and I could either use my credit card or make a collect call. Perhaps it would have worked if I had more than $0.15 cents left on my phone account at the time, but perhaps not. But now I'll never know.

The next day, I tried meeting up with CCFers for lunch. The people from my CC small groups did not reply to my e-mail so I assume they weren't comming. Anyhow after arriving at the rendevous location in front of the Hilton and meeting up with the rest of RCCF, we had trouble finding a place to eat. All the resturants were full as there were over 22,000 of us at the conference. We tried going to Hooters figuring that'll be the one place without too many people, but even that was a 20 minute wait. As we were walking away, I saw people with Urbana bracelets on when I looked through the window. :P One of us, I think I remember it was just one, decided to buy a sandwich from the resturant in the hotel for $6. Not wanting to pay that much for a sandwich, I ended up not eating lunch. I figure I could fast, besides dinner on the first day for my group was scheduled for 5:30PM which wasn't that far away anyhow. But then I noticed I had some cookies in my backpack during the workshop so I ate some... Saved some $ I guess :P

The first workshop I went to was Struggling With The Asian Dream, wasn't very fascinating. I was tired and fell asleep during some of it too. To quote Forest Gump "That's all I have to say about that..." Hehe, but the second workshop I went to was called Single in Missions. As Russell Peters put it "What was that for...? Just in case..." :P The second workshop was both funny and informative. I was telling my friend a little bit about this yesturday over Pho... The one thing I can remember about that workshop was from the very beginning... The lady who told us "Yes, I am single" as it would be inappropriate for her to be leading the workshop if she wasn't, told us how to answer the question "Are you married?" Apparently, she said we should answer with "I am not married YET..." Hehe, it sounds simple, but it's true and it DOES do a lot. I rememeber when I was still doing that commission based job and I was older than the person I was working with who also asked me "Are you married?" It's true, I said no and they do ask me MORE questions... such as "Why not?" and etc... etc... so now next time I will say "I am not married YET..." LOL :P Even though I know it's not available at the webcast of Urbana 2006 at http://www.urbana.org/u2006.webcast.cfm I won't get into details of ALL the workshops I attended. I also didn't attend any during two of the session time slots. One of them, I was going to attend the meeting for the Urbana Unity Choir, but turns out it was full. Seeing how I was already late for any workshop at that point and I didn't really plan out which one I was going to, I skipped it to get some food. Another one, on the last day, we were unable to get any lunch from the place we were told is pretty empty. Eventually we went back to St. Louis Bread Company like for the 5th time we were there... crazy, but anyhow the workshops had again already started so I just visted the Canadian lounge and met a guy there before going to the next workshop.

I think it was the second last day, perhaps not, but we didn't have workshops, we had "community meetings" instead. I went to the famous Rick Warren's community meeting. I didn't go primary because Rick Warren was leading it, but because the theme Questions&Answers was particularly interesting to me, I like those and it's been a long time since we had one of those for fellowship. Well the first impression I got was that he was chubbier than I expected :P I mean, at least from the ones I've had, I'm already used to the fact that Pastoral staff tend to be overweight, but he was like whoa... :P It's like when I was reading his book, Purpose Driven Life, I never saw what he looked like, but I didn't expect him to be THAT fat. :P He also turns out to be an extremely funny guy in person. It's not something you would noticed from reading his book and also from the main sermon he gave to the entire group in the Edward Jones dome. But during the community meeting, he was extremely funny! A lot of the jokes were focused around his marriage... Apparently he and his wife Kay got engaged on their second date and this was like 8 days after the first one! Whoa! :O I wonder what kinda record I can set... :P However, on their honeymoon, they both were like "We saved ourselves for this?" LOL... so jokes... Later on, they came to the conclusion that they were going to make it work "even if it kills us" and they ended up getting a marriage counsellor. He said maybe they should be on a Visa commercial, "Visa saved our marriage". Apparently in the beginning of their marriage, their church was still small then and they were only making $800 a month, yet had to pay I think it was $400 a month for the marriage counsellor. In the end he said they ran up a $1500 Visa bill to help pay for the counselling. But it turns out it was worth it, "the first few years were like hell on earth, but we still had 29 years of a good marriage"... then his wife was like "I thought it was more like 27..." LOL so jokes! He also said that we ought to listen to our wives, cause often they are the holy spirit... hmm true that! ;) He also said "I prefer kissing in tongues", hehe... Sometime during the season he also made this joke about how him and his Christian brothers were part of the BTTRU fartenity... hehe, BTTRU, Bachelors Till The Rapture United... Then his wife said that she and her sisters, as a result of this were part of the FFIC... Forsaken Foxes In Christ ROTFL... :P Rick Warren also stated something important, the purpose of marriage is to make you holy not happy. And there should be no divorce, "there's no such thing as incompatible"... "He doesn't have the income and she's not patible..." LOL... it is kinda silly people get married and later find out they are not meant for each other... He also had some cool acroynms for ways that don't work and only SLOW AIDS... Supply Condoms, Limit number of partners, Offer needle exchange, Wait for your first sexual experience... and how to STOP AIDS... Save sex for marriage, Train men to treat women and childern with respect, Offer treatment through churches, Pledge yourself to one partner for life... seems simple enough, but it's so true... He only answered like 5 questions during the session, but it was very informative very all, he is wise indeed...

Speaking of Rick Warren, recently V asked me to borrow my copy of his book, "The Purpose Driven Life" again... I told her it was just lying on my shelf and she could have it for as long as she wanted. It was an interesting coincidence that on the same Monday of that week I was having dinner with another friend and I was telling him that I think I also got the book as a gift like he did, but I wasn't sure and not sure as to from who I got it from personally. Coincidently also when V msged me on MSN on Wednesday night, I was not home at the time and not at the computer, I should have been in auto away mode, but I guess that didn't difer her. :P It just so happens that at that time I had just dropped off or was in the process of dropping of "Princess" Lili after we ate after CCF... It turns out when I check out my copy of the book that it was "Princess" that gave me my copy of the book in March 2004... I remember I was reading 3 books at the time, Purpose Driven Life, I Kissed Dating Goodbye and this biography, I think I was doing D.L. Moody I had to read for dedication fellowship. It was quite a lot, but lucky I was on my summer at the time, although I did have to work during July and a bit of August...

At CCF, I had a chance to share a bit of my experience at Urbana... well it was more like our church's vision... after hearing what Vince had to say about how he could apply his Comp-Sci to be used by God and in missions... On Sunday, two of the people in my church who also went with me to Urbana shared and also mentioned our vision. Hehe, but this time I put a TWIST on it! How better to demonstrate what I heard that "in MCBC... I heard that people in the English side don't even know who the head of the chinese fellowship is...." then to do a live experiment since I had MCBC people in da CCF house? :P I was mentioning how the majority of us probably go to a chinese church and it probably has multiple congregations like ours.... So I was like "Arthur... you go to that church (MCBC).... who's the chairman of the chinese fellowship?" And he was like "I don't know...." Ha! Kristen was right! Well I told her that day at the Urbana debrief meeting "I don't know who the chairperson of the chinese fellowship at our church is either..." but she countered with "Ya, but if I told you it was like.... Chilli, you would at least know who she is right?" True... I would... I guess, when churches get bigger and have seperate worships all the time, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep track of everyone. In fact, there's probably a lot of older adults in the Mandarin and Cantonese side that I don't know if they aren't and even if they are the parents of people in the English congregation... Anyhow, so ya, we also had one person from the chinese side come to Urbana with us and we hope in the future maybe it can be more. The vision we have is that we want more unity and love between the different congregations in our church... Like that part in the Urbana summary video I shared, "The liver cannot say to the lungs, I am all grown up now, I don't need you....the...etc... etc... I don't need you......... The sign of maturity is not independance but interdependance..." As part of trying to fulfill our mission, the ten of us will intentionally not sit on the right side of the santuary where the English side typically sits during every joint worship, but instead we will disperse ourselves among the chinese congregation to get to know them better. I made the comment that it's kinda like a short time mission trip and instead of "Mission Across the Miles", maybe it's more like "Mission Across the Ailes"! :P They all thought it was funny and have adapted this name of mine. The church thought it was a good name too. ;) All in all, I had a good time at Urbana and it was definetely worth it. I only really had to pay mostly for the conference itself and the $ I spent there on meals as my church reimbursed each of us $300CDN as a subsidy and that covers most, but not all of the bus and hotel costs.

Until the next Urbana,

Cell Phone is free for 1 day...

Hmm I haven't updated for a while... But soon I will post my Urbana sharing blog here.... Just wanted to let you guys know today (February 10th) is my birthday so every year on February 10th, my cellphone is free for the whole day... 12AM to 12AM...

My Birthday is now over :( so I took my # down... you had your chance :P actually nobody called. :( Boo... oh well...