Maybe me I guess.... Well regardless of whether a judge, society or the world in general may judge the other party to be "at fault"... I'm always big about it and feel that I ought to apologize also as I believe that no matter how small, all parties involved probably contributed to whatever conflict or problem in the first place. As the old saying goes, "If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem."
Tonight, I was just about to go to sleep, but then for no reason I decide to login to my mail. I guess I was thinking about mass e-mailing my group of friends again what's on my mind, especially since we had some discussion and prayer in dedication fellowship tonight...
But something got in the way... I remember my Pastor's wife, who's now in Germany with him once said "The life of Jesus is a life of interruptions..." I wish it wasn't! But what can I do? So get this... I get this e-mail in my inbox from a friend with "the end." as the subject... Err... I don't think I need my spiritual sense on this one to know that the contents probably aren't good :P
So what do I do? Being stupid as I am, I open it. OMG... why didn't I have the smarts to wait till I at least had some good sleep? But maybe I couldn't... afterall, it's not like the e-mail got to my inbox any earlier in the day and seeing the subject and knowing it's bad, maybe I wouldn't have been able to sleep without reading it first anyhow? I dunno... I just know it was bad news as expected...
But I guess the question I keep asking myself is why does it upset me so much? Even though I like to think God "selected" this group of people I e-mail, maybe I invoked too much of my own will. Perhaps a part of me intentionally selected these people whom I know are my friends, yet I also know they (at least most of them) are far away so I know I won't have to face them on a regular basis, if anything were to go wrong with our friendship as a result of anything I say.
So as you may have guessed, sometimes things do go wrong. I don't think what I said is always particular offensive. I just think some of my ideas are just perhaps too radical for some of them to accept. Which is ironically sad seeing how we should be able to have extraoridinary expectations because we have an extraoridinary God. But what has happened as a result instead? Some of them have decided it's better to ignore me than to accept the things I said.
Obviously, you gather that I'm going to say "I'm sorry" and I am. So, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm not an easy person to be friends with, I'm sorry I upset you, I'm sorry it's come to this. And I'm sorry that my beliefs seemed what you might term as "lunatic" to you... But how do you define "lunatic" exactly? Afterall, people say that Jesus was either a "liar", "lunatic", or ... hmm... I forgot the last L... And what about myself... everyone who is still a current attendee at my Logos Baptist church isn't ignoring me... yet, perhaps that isn't enough for me, so I branch out and sometimes attend RHCBC... However, there's this sister I know, she was actually going to RHCBC more than me for a while with her mom cause they moved or whatever the reason was...but yet she now goes to Logos Milliken... hmmm...
"If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." [2 Cor 5:13]
Perhaps... perhaps in our CCF retreat we missed a point God wanted to tell us. Yes, sometimes we can seem to be "crazy" in our faith in Christ and what we do as Christians when we don't act like the world does. Maybe we accept people and want to live in (or at least "want to") harmony with everyone around us, while the pagan world looks on and thinks to themselves "How could that person forgive and still be friends with that person after all that person put him/her through?!?!?"
The point I guess I was going to say is that maybe God is also telling us we need to be "in the right" mind in the "presence of men"? I dunno... maybe... But then Jesus did say he has chosen us "out of the world" and that the world will eventually hate us because of who we are and who we will become in Christ. Besides, I'm sure many times they must have thought Paul was crazy... Jesus would save the world? Jesus couldn't even save Paul from receiving the 40 lashes minus 1 multiple times, afterall, Paul's death or punishment wasn't going to save the world from it's sins (or would it?), he wasn't Jesus...But regardless, Paul continued to choose the less religiously popular and be on the receiving rather and giving end of persecution as well. Why? Because Paul had a vision from God and I believe Paul was a man lead by the spirit to do what God had in mind for him even if things seemed grim at the time, you might even say he had a "spiritual sense" *raises eyebrow*....
Speaking of my "spiritual sense", I never really had a chance to share this with the people I usually e-mail yet. Funny thing, the person who has decided to start an argument with me and now is ignoring me, she doesn't think my "spiritual sense" can exist. Well... first let's do some biblical examples. Even Joseph and Daniel had the God given ability to interpret dreams (and even dreams of others) to tell the future through them and all this without even a personal relationship with Jesus Christ???? Well I'm sure they probably did at the very least have "faith" in God, perhaps even a relationship. But the point is, like I read in the book we're doing for Sunday School, Experiencing God, God can speak to us directly now through the Holy Spirit and He doesn't even need "dreams" or other mediums, even if sometimes I and perhaps others also may ask for those... and just why can't He? I do however, have another more recent, more personal example of perhaps my "spiritual sense" working for me during the summer retreat. You see, during the dedication meeting we have every year, for some reason God placed in my heart to see the need for more of His workers and also more than just the addition of my own life. So what did He do? Well I knew in my heart that God wanted to call more workers this year. So who will go? Who will God send? Who is willing to give their life to the gospel? Well honestly, nobody can really know for sure I suppose, afterall, even if God calls them it's still up to their individual free will given by God whether they decide they want this commitment or not. But it seems that night when I was praying before the meeting officially began that God placed this thought in my heart when I was silently asking the question "Yes, God needs more workers, but who?", the answer God gave me was what I was suddenly thinking about when I was done praying "probably WW (not his full name, but God did tell me his full name:P)". Then later, during the actual dedication for "the third heart" (a.k.a. FT Ministry), I was in the middle of crying, but I had to open my eyes for a split sec, even though I didn't want to look at my congregation to keep my eyes from sticking. But it seems like I opened my eyes right on time! As we are supposed to stand at the front to be prayed for afterwards after signing our lives away to God. When I opened my eyes, who did I see happen to be at the table at that time, but none other than WW! I thought "wow"! God answers prayers, it might not be who I wanted to see up there, but it's who God wanted to be up there this year... But what am I talking about? Maybe she's right, maybe there's really no such thing as a "spiritual sense" eh? *rolls eyes*
Whoa, I relized, this is like the third night I've been working on this entry already. Usually I work on it sometime between 4 to 5AMish when I can't sleep because of what has happened and not just this but also because of what hasn't happened, but perhaps needs to...But now it's almost 7:30... it's partly due to the fact that when the clock hit 6ish, I decided to go for that idea we discussed when I drove my friends home to catch the sunrise so I walked down Hwy. 10 until I found a fairly decent spot too big intersections away. Good exerise too I suppose :P Because of my recent stresses I guess, I've been eating too much "comfort food" at night and getting a little chubby *embrassed*. Dunno if I'll necessary call it stress, but I was talking to the church physician last night and mentioned I've been sleeping more lately and he attributes it to stress. *shrugs*, guess maybe it shows? I never told him anything specific...
LOL hmmm, this might go down as my longest post so far, perhaps the only one I truly kinda complete. I want to also address the other beef she had about me thinking I'm "holier than thou" cause I throw bible verses around or as she kinda put it "at people". No, that's not my intention at all! Guess, at least she was accurate about how little she knows me, now the other way, as someone older and wiser with a much more wider pool of people to compare to, I dunno... But again, I don't quote bible verses cause I want to make myself look "spiritual" or whatever. I just do it cause it's become a part of my speech. Ok, I guess I'm doing it again...
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness," [2 Tim 3:16]
I guess the reason I give for using scripture would likely be in common with most people who quote the bible often, why use my own words when others already used God's? As the saying goes "God says it best..." All I'm saying is, as you grow in faith, God's word is not only in your mind or in your bible, but on your heart and and soul as well! Like the sensei says to his pupil in the classic movie Karate Kid, "Karate here (hand, I think he initially pointed to), Karate also here (head) and here (heart)..." Afterall, don't people tend to mimic and copy sayings of people they are in love with? Ooooo... burn! [Darm cha!]
Also, wow... this "holier than thou", what a line! Why didn't Satan think of it when Jesus was quoting the bible to him during the temptation of Jesus by Satan [Luke 4]?!? It's like "Man does not live by bread alone." and then Satan will be like "Stop thinking you're more holy than me Son of Man just because you quote the bible better than I can!" Wow!
Although the sunrise was a bit disappointing, the site of the beams through the clouds did remind me a bit of the Superman returns movie, especially the clouds looking like they are on fire. And I also did some kicks to warm up when I was walking to my viewing spot when it was initially too chilly, guess the sun wasn't up yet :P Not sure was it the kicks or just the sun going "up" above the clouds, but among some of the songs, one of the songs I thought of singing as part of my prayer walk I will put here as the "medium" to end my blog. It's from an Artist who hopefully wasn't afraid to die like I am as well, she did die...
TRY AGAIN
by Aaliyah
It's been a long time
We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat step to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freak
It's been a long time
We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky-freaky
Baby girl, uh
What would you do to get to me
What would you say to have your way
Would you give up or try again
If I hesitate to let you in
Now would you be yourself or play your role
Tell all the boys I'll keep you low
If I say, "No", would you turn away
Or play me off or would you stay, oh...oh...
And if at first you don't succeed
Then dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again
'Cause if at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
I'm in to you, you into me
But I can't let it go so easily
Not till I see where this could be
Could be eternity or just a week
And yo', our chemistry is off the chain
It's perfect now, but will it change
This ain't a yes, this ain't a no
Just do your thing, we'll see how it go,
oh...oh....
And if at first you don't succeed
Then dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again
'Cause if at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
Said you don't wanna throw it all away
I might be shy on the first date
What about the next date
huh, huh, huh, huh
Said you don't wanna throw it all away
I might be buggin'on the first date
What about the next date
huh, huh, huh, huh
And if at first you don't succeed
Then dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again
'Cause if at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
Chicka-ah
Chicka-ah
Chicka-ah
Chicka-ah
And if at first you don?t succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
'Cause if at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
And if at first you don't succeed
Dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again
'Cause if at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
It's been a long time
We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky
It's been a long time
We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky
If at first you don't succeed
Dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again
'Cause if at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again
It's been a long time
We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky
It's been a long time
We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Step to, step to, step to
Step to, step to
Freaky-freaky
Again I'm sorry, but like V tells me, if you want to ignore me, it's really not my fault and there's nothing I can do...
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...the next generation
Not sure who invented it, but presently, it has been a number of years ago now that I have heard someone express that "a generation is ...
3 comments:
Wow.
Buddy, I can see why people have a difficult time staying friends with you. I'm not a Christian, and I've had friends in all walks of life, but it would be nigh impossible for me not to want to smash my head against a brick wall talking to you.
Listen, a few things about your blog perturbed me. Bear with me here:
"I don't think what I said is always particular offensive. I just think some of my ideas are just perhaps too radical for some of them to accept." I've read some of your other entries. At a certain point, when A LOT of apparantly sane people disagree with you, you might want to reconsider your tactics. Which brings me to my next point...
You talk about being maligned, much like Jesus, SO MUCH, that it's starting to sound like you're developing a bit of a misguided, ego-driven feeling that you're either God himself (or herself...who knows!), or a hand-picked messenger of God. And frankly, it's scary. Get off your high horse. Do your good deeds. Don't do the woe-is-me act and complain about how people treat you like people treated Jesus.
Finally, I think you need some non-Christian perspective. I think religion is great if you believe strongly in it. Clearly, you are a strong believer. But maybe too strong, or misguided. I think too much of anything can be harmful, although I'm not entirely sure of this in the case of religion. However, I DO think there needs to be some sort of balance, proper perspective, or at least some proper use of your religious beliefs or knowledge. You are obsessed with dealing out Biblical quotes in response to EVERYTHING. When someone says, "Hello", do you throw down a verse from Psalms? When someone asks you for advice about what pair of shoes to buy, is it Exodus you quote, or do you actually help them choose a pair of shoes? I worry that you're so busy giving people advice (misguided though it may be, in my opinion) and tsk tsking everyone who disagrees with you that you're forgetting to do the most important thing, something I'm sure even God would want you to do - LIVE YOUR LIFE. That's right...live YOURS, not EVERYONE ELSE'S LIFE. So what if people don't agree with you? So what if people make mistakes? Everyone has their own choices to make, and I for one don't think anyone is making a mistake by choosing to ignore you if this is how you are all the time.
Happy Living!
It seems weird commenting on my own blog. Since I don't get many comments, I see it as kinda like "bumping" a post on a forum. I was going to reply on YOUR Blog, I've read a few entries too. But I don't want to it seem like an "attack" or "invasion" of your blog, not that I'm suggesting I'm particularly or extremely offended by your comment.
Well, perhaps it was a bit startling and unexpected. First and foremost, as you may have already infered, I don't really expect "non-Christians" to read my blog. As you can tell, it contains a lot of biblical content. You may think of it as EXTREME. But hey, you should see some OTHER blogs I've seen out there. Talking about they were walking around on Campus and suddenly decided they should pray about it and some of them were geting semi-possessed and attacked by demons trying to stop them and stuff, but God drove them away.... like WHOA... where that come from? I may look at it "in Awe" and say "praise God", but you may be sitting there reading and think W... T.... _.....
However, I do very much value what you said and your opinion and I'm sorry if it gave you the impression that I ought to be ignored and "God" is all I talk about. No, I talk about a lot of other stuff as well, those who know me, know I talk a lot about whatever the topic is even when the topic seems so trivial and I don't believe "God is always so trivial". Well maybe some Aspects of God, but God being all infinite by definition cannot even be DEFINED even with a book as thick as the bible.
And by far, you know what? You've given me the BEST ADVICE man... you are right, I ought to "LIVE MY LIFE" and WHO CARES what other people think, I can't control them any more than God himself can. But I do believe there is ONE I need to obey with my life, if not perhaps a few others, that being the Omnipotent (all powerful) creator God. Afterall, the world would be in complete Chaos without some ORDER to the universe. Who would care if a powerful, corrupt dictator were to one day succeed to rule the world in extreme selfish oppression and all opposition proves futile and leads to death of the rebel armies due to the un-contained power the dictator has over the years IF there is no God...Perhaps our own FILTH of polution for selfish use would have destroyed it LONG TIME AGO....
So ya, I talk a lot about God in my blog... but that's the way I've decided near when I first started writing it to write about... the other stuff, I simply talk about it with my friends or whatever, I simply just don't write it in my blog. If you're interested to know the OTHER stuff, just ask me man (and that goes for ALL my readers, if there even are any others...)
'If first you don't succeed, dust off the dandruff and pray again, DUST yourself off and PRAY again, pray AGAIN...' [A paraphrase]
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