Commentary of CCF Bible Study AND the blog entry I've been putting off...

(NOT FINISHED YET, but I clicked POST again)

Ok, two things I want to point out first. No, I'm not a Pastor or anything, at least not yet :P But to be honest, I'm not 100% confident YET that "Pastor" is the role God can best use me in. Not saying He's not calling me in this area, just that there's many ways to give one's life to Christ in full-time Ministry...#2: Although I promised myself not to mention certain thingS in my blog, it's so hitting me in the face right now that I can't dare comment on this entry without sharing how through my devo God probably wants me to apply it in my own life! I dare not be so hyprocritical or try to raise myself above my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to only offer a GENERAL commentary they can use to help apply it in their own life, without giving my example of how I plan to apply the passage in my own...

Actually maybe #3: Even if I were a Pastor or whatever, I would not dare say THIS AND ONLY THIS is God's truth, it would still only be my opinion on the issue, hence why it's a "Commentary" as opposed to say another chapter of the bible.

The link in this entry leads to the NIV version of the Gospel of Matthew 5:17-32. Which is the passage from LBCM's daily devotion plan for LAST WEEK. But since I didn't have THIS week's with me, I figure I would read last week's "Wednesday", since I don't always use their guidelines (usually do it independantly since I feel the guidelines is more for NEWER Christians). Anyhow, it was so cool it was THIS particular passage for Last Wednesday cause I feel I really got a lot more out of today's bible study at CCF after reading it. I actually based my commentary up to verse 48 (end of the chapter) and I feel the passage helped me answer a lot more than just the two questions in the guideline, but most of the questions from the bible study as well (whether typed in the study's outline or people's questions brought up in the discussion). I've decided to break this up into two sections "General Commentary" and "Specific Application", I may not finish the second part right away, so you may have to go back to this blog entry again later:

GENERAL COMMENTARY
-------------------

I'm not going to list the entire passage here, you can use the link (click the blog title). Matthew 5:17-18 was mentioned in our discussion tonight, but I believe what comes AFTER is also important to understanding just whether or not we need to follow ALL of God's law. But I believe this passage is not focused on WHICH laws we do or not follow, but HOW we follow them.

I heard my English Pastor preach on Matthew 5:21-26 before, I will share more about this particular passage when I get to the "Specific Application" section. Due note though, this passage is a commentary on Arthur's rebuttal that "Thou shalt not kill" (Exodus 20:13, KJV) should read "You should not murder" (as it does in the NIV version). However, as stated in Matthew 5:21-26, I would particularly want to point to the KJV translation of Matthew 5:22 ->" 22But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire." The NIV version takes out the "without a cause" clause and puts a footnote that it's only listed in "Some manuscripts". But I believe the point here is physically planning and murdering someone is not the only way to "murder" someone and as my Pastor put it, "murdering the person in your heart" can be just as bad, but in my opinion, IF NOT EVEN WORSE. Reason why I say "if not even worse", now I don't mean to sound cynical, nor do I condone murder at all, in fact I am strongly against it, but when you think about it, at least if you go ahead and murder someone, the law in most if not all countries will find some way to punish the offender. BUT rarely is there a law against hating people is there? Except perhaps' God's law, cause hate is not love, and as also brought up in our discussion, it would contradict what Jesus considered to be the second greatest commandment -> 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'. [Matthew 22:39] Matthew 22 is also a good related passage to read. I would especially like to point to verse 40 which comes right after: Matthew 22:40 "All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." I bring this particular passage up because during my Bible Study Methods Sunday school course, it came to my attention that "the Law and the Prophets" is New Testament wording to refering to all the books of the Old Testament. "The Law" -> books of Moses (first 5 in the bible, a.k.a. The Pentunauch [I'll have to double check that spelling]) "The Prophets" -> the rest of the books, mostly written by prophets, most which are also named after prophets. Perhaps this may involve some confession and searching deep into your own heart. Let's give a hypothetical example, let's say there's someone you "hate" or even "dislike strongly" for whatever reason, what if the very next day, while you are still furious with them, they die from a car accident or something, how would you REALLY feel about that? :O Could this be why God says "In your anger do not sin" Ephesians 4:26, also in Psalms 4:4.

The rest of the passages carry a similiar message, I wanted to touch on the "Adultery" issue during our bible study today when someone was like "Do not commit adultery" when quoting the law. It follows Jesus' discussion of murder in Matthew 5:27-30. And I want to particularly point out Matthew 5:38 which is one example where it seems like Jesus is directly telling us to violate one of the more know old testament laws "eye for an eye". Again reinforced in Matthew 5:43. Therefore you see, it's not whether we follow this law or break this law that's the most important, not that I'm downplaying that Christians should follow certain "rules", but as pointed out by both myself and my Pastor, it's "following God that counts". Otherwise there would not be Paul's passage in 1 Corinthians 4:16 -> "Therefore I urge you to imitate me." Which is later elaborated in 1 Corinthians 11:1 -> "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." AND 1 Peter 2:21 -> "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps." which is the theme verse in that book I mentioned in my previous entry, "In His Steps"... HELLO LBCM Church theme :)

Well, now I'm really tired, perhaps God doesn't want me to type so much "general commentary" anyhow, sometimes I can be long winded I know... so I'm going to call it a night, even though I know I may not be able to remember the entire conclusion God gave me and type it all down if I do it the next morning... :( It's almost 4AM now... Hopefully you'll understand better when I share my "Specific Application" tommorow though. :) So I'll end off with Mark 14:38b -> "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

NEW ADDITIONS:

PERSONAL APPLICATION
---------------------

As I stated earlier, this will involve sharing about certain things that I probably mentioned in my earlier blog entries I would share, but didn't. However, I feel like God is pushing or nudging me to share since it relates to what He was telling me personally when I was reading this passage.

Even before I finished this, I had to take a break, listen to some Christian songs. I wonder, am I afraid? I should try to "be a man" about it... It's not like relationships (friendships) of the perSon/people I'm afraid of offending could possibly get any worse at this point anyhow. But I better not speak too soon.

Ok, no more small talk, time to talk about God's personal application of this passage for me and also requires that I confess my sins. As per my commentary on the Matthew 5:21-26 passage, I believe it is wrong to not be on good terms with other people. As it is already no secret if you've read some of my other blog entrieS, there happens to be a particular Sister in Christ that I confess, as I put it on my blog entry that I "hate". I feel I kinda "hate" her for my own selfish reasons. I wanted to get over her quickly, so I totally tried to elimate anything related to her or relationships in my mind. But thinking about it, can you really blame me? I loved her more than I loved anyone else in my life and the strangest thing is I don't even know why I would fall for someone like that. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that perSon, it's just not normally how I usually go about pursing my Christian relationships and she doesn't exactly fall into "my type" or have many of the qualities I look for in a wife from what I know of her so far. In fact there's many times I thought to myself "Why her? I rather be with ____
" and ____ because's she's more ______ (insert quality here) or whatever...involves several other single girls I could possibly pursue a relationship with. Another thing to note would be at the time I also considered God may have wanted me to be with another sister who's a very close female friend of mine. But somehow, for some weird reason, I felt myself drawn to her even though when I try to "logically analyze" the situation, I confess I would always in the back of my mind be thinking "How could I possibly be interested in a girl like that..." (Again, nothing wrong with her, but sometimes I can have pretty high standards in specific areas) Ok, after all that typing, I realize it's not exactly where I originally planned to lead this discussion (why "hate" is wrong), but now sharing something else. I guess I'll just go with the flow and finish this point FIRST as opposed to second (and with much less detail) as originally intended.

So more about me and this girl/siSter. I only bring it up because my caring fellow brothers (mainly brothers) and sisters in CCF are starting to ask questions about my MSN name and it's about time I share why I'm taking these "extreme measures" (or at least they interpret them to be too extreme). And I know this sorta goes againSt your requeSt to keep it between us and I'm Sorry, really Sorry, but I just don't want to turn this blog into just some sermon achieve and not share how it afflicted me too. Ok, this is not meant to be like gossip or for your entertainment, so please don't read it as such. My hopes is by better understanding how I felt, you will better understand why it is I request people keep certain romantic things "out of sight" to me. As I stated earlier, considering the possiblity that this girl might be "the one" for me, was always the last thing on MY mind! She just didn't meet MY expections (in fact far from them from what I knew of her at that point in time) of what I wanted in a mate, but yet, for some strange reason I was drawn to her. I always wanted my wife to be ___, ___ & ___, etc... She wasn't really what I considered a prime example of any of those qualities I wanted in a wife, logically I couldn't see why I would be attracted to her. In addition, compared to these other sisters in Christ which I also considered MIGHT be my wife someday if I decide to pursue a relationship with them, I probably knew her even less than the most aquintance-d of the sisters in my "potential wives" group. But yet I was attracted to her for whatever strange reason... so I began to question God as to the why?

Now, before I attempt to answer the why, perhaps it's good to explore how I've been "brought up" (a.k.a. "parented") in God's house when it comes to finding "the one". I guess this will involve summing up my previous romantic pursuits in a nutshell/paragraph. This would be the "past" I wanted to "put behind". Hmm... Lesson 1? "If the feelings aren't mutual, it can't be God's will." Something along those lines. That lesson I've now found to be the best joke of all. Now I'm not saying to marry someone who doesn't love you in return, but my point is lack of feelings alone should not be allowed to dictate what is and is not God's will. What I mean is "don't jump to conclusions" based on "present feelings and situation(s)". Ok, so bring in the real life situation, 6 to 7 years ago I had feelings for this one giRl in my church who did not feel the same way. Something I read in a Christian book "Boy Meets Girl", chapter 4 double confirms that Lesson 1 is pretty inaccurate. Sad to think I learned it from a "Pastor" too. Actually over the years, quite a # of people have told me different even pertaining to the situation with me and my fiRst Christian love. One of my Christian mentors, who's now married, WW taught me everything must follow God's timing and that even he got rejected by his WIFE the first time he told her how he felt. In addition, my previous English Pastor also said if I know that heR and I are God's will, I need to be patient and wait.

Ok, it's actually going to take longer than I thought to discuss my upbringing and there's many factors a Christian needs to consider and pray about when pursuing relationships... so I won't mention all of them in this post. Gotta get back down to point of how I'm applying this bible study material/devotion into my life. But to make a long story short, I did not come to the deciSion to purSue this new sister in Christ lightly. In fact even when I decided that my intentions to try to "only be her friend" perhaps wasn't the only thing God wanted me to do, I've prayed about it for a long long time before I took any explicit and clear action in terms of expressing the fact I want to consider pursing a courtship with her to her. Ever since I had my rElationship (if you wanna call it that) with E/EE ended 4 years ago (it stopped near the end of my second year in University), I have been praying to God about this marriage issue in my own life (and praying for others) for a LONG LONG time now. And I must say fairly diligently too, perhaps maybe too diligently. Always has been an open ended prayer, I just pray that God lead the way in this area. But then again, simply praying "God show me your plan for marriage" doesn't necessarily mean I just wait around forever and never take action nor does it suggest I just pursue any girl that I'm interested it. Ok, let's skip the part when I'm going to explain my opinion on the right method of pursuing a relationship.

It's now like over 2 weeks since I started this entry, it's time to finish what I started! This entry that is... So as you already know, I once had strong feelings for this girl. The strangest thing is maybe She knew how I loved her before I even realized I really did. Up unto a few months ago, I've honestly only wanted to be her friend, get to know her more, just treat her like I treat any other sister in Christ. A strange thing began to happen though, although I started to attract a lot of attention from other girls and sisters after I met this girl and we were only friends, I felt it was wrong of me to think of myself as a "free man" or also known as "available" for some strange reason. So then I began to pray about it. To make a long story short, without getting into my reasons and analysis of the situation, it's obvious I decided that perhapS She was the one, even though in MY heart I kinda wanted some of those other girls/sisters more than her... But after thingS went bad, I began to experience extreme sadness and because I've never felt that bad before in my life, as a result I kinda blamed what happened on her. As I was saying before, I hated her... but as for my application to this lesson, it's not God's will for us to "hate" anyone, THAT I do know for sure... So guess what? Now it's MY turn to "put the past behind" to stop hating her because of what happened. Here's another related verse for me to apply, I think I might have taken it from the footnote of the original passage:

[Leviticus 19:18] -> " 'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD."

I'll always be "a friend"...

(I'm going to mention why I don't like seeing couples together in another entry, it's about time I posted this and also get rest as I gotta work all day tommorow.)