Time foR putting the past bEhind.

I think maybe I'll use two seperate blog entries to make things easier. This one is specifically directed to anyone in my church or part of MCBCSL who may still hold a negative view of me. It's a lesson about agape love. As always stated whenever 1 Cor 13 is used, the passage is not restricted to be applied to marriages, but also for Christian/God/Agape love in general. It's often used in marriages because it illustrates how love between couples reflects God's love for the church. I should prepare for my job interview which by faith I think I will have next week. But also by faith, I know God doesn't want me to only do my own thing and forget about Him! So I'm going to "by faith" put God first and do what I know is right. Which is to write an entry that gives glory back to God while I pratice my typing. It's so hard to accept how much slower my typing has gotten since leaving school for 6 months! I'm sure my future employer is going to look down on me if he's not getting that 50WPM I sometimes advertise on my resume.

There are many good things about the past worth remembering, but my "spiritual mother", Vanessa is right, I need to focus more on the positive and the negative. So since it's been keeping me up at night, I'm going to apply a "professional" :P approach to this, I'm going to "write it off" and ship it out and "get it over with".

This blog entry focuses specifically on certain verses/phrases of 1 Cor 13 that I feel aren't always addressed.

Something our guest speaker Rev. (Dr?, not sure, but I know he's a professor at the University side of *seminary* and he was Joyce Ma's prof) DW talked about today I was like "TRUE THAT"! Or as I like to use [Darm cha] (for emphasize provided it's not some Mandarin curse word, I'll keep using it) -> "Single people have a bad wrap in the church, people think there's something wrong with them..." It's like OH YA!! PREACH IT BROTHER! Haven't I being saying it???? Haven't I been saying it?!?! I've been saying it for at least 4 long years!!! I know to some people I may have come off "desperate" to find a mate, but the truth is, I'm past that now. I have already accepted the fact that there's nothing wrong with being single even if I have been for single for 6-7 years (as a Christian and 17-18 years as a non-christian) already. But also there's nothing wrong with NOT being single either =) I've known that for a long time now, but it's true, some fellow Christians in my church think it's "not good for man to be alone" and tend to put too much pressure/teasing on others for being single AND Yes, sometimes people do look at me the wrong way or are overly suspicious of my intentions when I might just be trying to be "brotherly" to the opposite sex. Come on, let's put things into perspective here, even though every single Christian girl out there is eligible to be my wife some day, I'm not going to like pursue the possibility with more than one girl at a time, I'm just going to be Christian about it and follow God's leading. :) Not that I expect a wife to fall from the sky like manna, but my point is for the past 3 years I'm no longer "girl crazy". I'm not that person anymore, I'm a transformed individual in Christ. That's what I need people to understand, it's better to give me positive critisism than ignore me completely or deny me (see "Where's the love entry?") However, I just ignore them and leave things to God's plan and timing. :) But even though I'm glad heR and I have put it behind us, I'm sadden by the fact I don't think my church has completely put it behind. What makes it even interesting was earlier in the sermon he also talked about there are times when a brother might approach you and say that it is God's will for you to marry me.... It was like yo... I was just thinking last night I gotta find finish this blog entry to get people to stop thinking about that issue with me and heR that happened 7 years ago, but now you have to go and keep bRinging it up! Actually, even the speaker was saying that YES, there is God's will in marriage, but you gotta go investigate what is God's will. I was having an interesting conversation with Rebecca Chan from RHCBC about that earlier last night, I'm going to edit it later to made it more readable, but she told me she doesn't mind if I copy and paste it here so I'm going to past it unedited for you more savy and "want it instantly" readers. It's absolutely true, the sermon I heard in CCF on Wednesday, here in North America people always want to have things fast and on the fly. I like his example "He didn't want FAST food, he wanted INSTANT food."

Testing (do not click)

Hmm... I was going to make a link of that conversation, but it's not really working. Maybe I'll just summarize it into my own words.

Ok, setting up that link to our conversation isn't really working... But I got one more bone to pick... It seems also that my church might hold a negative view of dating/courting (unmarried) couples breaking up. Well maybe it's all because people in my church also pressure people who are in relationships too much to do certain things... Right J? (codename, that's not anyone who's name starts with a J). I think people in my church put "relationships" on the petalstool of "marriage" where it doesn't belong. But then when you go to "marriage counselling", it's basically from what I heard, the Pastor taking it OFF the petalstool and you decide if "marriage" is the right thing for you. I.e. "Are you two sure you really wanna go through with this?" I've know of courting unmarried couples who are literally AFRAID of breaking up. AND I think I know why. It's because if they do, these brothers and sisters would come ask about it I.e. "Oh, why did you two break up? I thought you were happy together, etc..." It's really not up to them to decide, it's the couple's decision between themselves and God, the same with marriage. Likewise, a lot of people who want to start considering a "relationship/courtship" in my church are also afraid of other people knowing about it because rumors, etc... will start. This actually links to the conversation I had with Becca actually. Honestly, I think exploring God's will in relationships/marriage takes time and maturity and if people decide to "break up", it's really not the end of the world. And people ought to just accept it and not critize, it's none of their business anyway, they shouldn't ask why or assume something is wrong, only comfort the people involved if those people come to them first. Honestly, I think if after a while they don't see the relationship bringing themselves closer to God while they become closer to each other, they should just break it off, it's better for all three parties (God, male, female).

BTW, none of this above necessarily relates to me personally persay. I'm not sure where God wants to take me yet, I'm waiting for Him to give me further guidance. I'm just saying I agree with the viewpoint I heard being shared at a Christians Single conference that if after a "trial period" of being in a "relationship", they really decide it's not for glory of God or beneficial to themselves spiritually and each other, they should just break it off. It's going to hurt a lot more in the long-run to drag on a relationship that shouldn't be... Hee... I'm not refering to any "relationship" I'm in. My point is, "if the shoe doesn't fit, lose it" LOL :P But what I see happening in my church sometimes is some stubborness of people being in relationships for as long as 6 years or more and then breaking it off... OUCH... that hurts. By that time, your feet are killing you :P, you heart aches and it's going to take a long time to love in that way again. OR in some cases, you try to fill the hole with someone else that you might not be meant to be with. I'm not saying that if you break up and see someone else, that person isn't God's will, but I believe you need a certain period of being "comfortable with singleness" before seeing God's will more clearly. LOL, I call it the "unlovable" period! Then after this humbleness that "macking is evil" and "flirting is wrong", you then see what God has in store for you and it can be quite amazing. =) I think after a certain amount of ADEQUATE time of getting to know each other and God's plan while being spiritually healthy and not disobeying God's "rules and guidelines" i.e. no impurity...for dating, you should have some idea whether it's God's plan or not so don't drag on things if you know it's not, break it off, ON THE FLIP SIDE... If it looks like it MIGHT be God's will... explore more! ;) But again these things take time, a lot of time.

I guess the long and short of it is, "dating/relationships" are NOT marriage and if you keep that mindset in mind... marriage isn't going to feel like a "bad/blind date" when it finally happens! :)